5 Sex Classes Every New York City Resident Should Take

The city that never sleeps is also the city that never stops fucking. Ever. For any reason. Just like women be shoppin, New Yorkers be fuckin. Well now the New York Post (link below), the newspaper equivalent of that kid in school you just shouldn't make fun of, brings us this list of five sex classes for New Yorkers to attend.

Down in Soho, for example, you can go Beyond the Blowjob...

Led by two instructors, practice is key in these workshops; participants are given condom-covered bananas to try techniques as they’re introduced.

If the beej isn't your thing, why not try Everything Butt?

Created in response to customer demand, this new class touches on notable moments in butt history (hello, twerking!) and also includes a hands-on play component in which participants practice different finger-and-tongue techniques on peeled oranges, which, according to (creator Samatha) Bard, “are very similar to how a butt can feel.”

Notable moments in butt history? Take that thesis committee! How about we step Outside the Box?

Presented primarily as a lecture by the store’s in-house sexperts, with finer points illustrated by video or toy demonstrations, this class covers G-spot facts, myths and techniques, oral sex tricks to add to your arsenal and tips for how to enhance foreplay.

Yoga not sexy enough for ya? How about Yoga with Kinks? That do anything for you?

This season Chelsea fetish shop Purple Passion is offering an anything but basic yoga workshop. Not only will you work out muscle strains with certified instructor Mistress Trish, but you’ll also get deeper in touch with your sexuality.

As someone with a sibilant problem, I cannot tell you how aggravating a name like Mistress Trish can be. Finally, for the budding Stings of the world, how about Urban Tantra...

Participants are fully clothed, and singles are welcome. They will be paired, with consent, with another attendee to experiment with breathing, touch techniques and eye-gazing, but there is no sexual touch within the class.

Man, you expect me to pay you money to eye fuck someone? I can do that shit from my front window like I usually do. Plus, and I know I'm a total ignoramus, but this tantra statue next to this woman looks like a giant pile of shit. 

Via New York Post