Cosmo’s Guide To The Missionary Position

Cosmo dishes out sex advice the way Orlando Bloom dishes out slaps to Justin Bieber: in a desperate attempt to maintain cultural relevancy. Nevertheless, they soldier on and their latest column presents a whopping 50 variations on the missionary position, the old standby of boring heterosexual sex. 

The positions presented here vary from smile inducing to patently unironically ironic.

Hungover Missionary

Hipster Missionary

Jazz Hands Missionary

Reverse Starfish Missionary

Lights Off Missionary

Mall Photo Studio Missionary

Maybe it's because everything else in my life goes back to the movies, but I can't help but think of But I'm a Cheerleader when I see these photos.

You can see the other 43 of these over at Cosmopolitan