Men’s Health Promotes Unscrupulous Use Of Household Items

Men's Health may be a good place to pick up tips for how to get ripped, and which supplements are the least likely to shrivel up your balls, but it should not be a place for sex advice of any kind. That hasn't stopped the editorial staff of the magazine from attempting to turn their mag into a male version of Cosmo. 

The magazine recently promoted the use of household items as sex toys, guaranteeing that they'll make your lady friend quiver with excitement, and definitely not make her shake her head in disappointment as you approach her with a spatula. 

SPATULAS AND SPOONS

They’re great for baking and spanking, says Ava Cadell, Ph.D., sex therapist and author of Love Around the House. Plus, the other end can make a nice, insertable object. (Just remember to use a condom.) And think of all the erotic memories that will surface when you use those kitchen tools for their more traditional functions. “When you have an intimate relationship with objects in your home, you create a sexy overall atmosphere without even knowing it,” Cadell says.

PRODUCE

Ever notice how plenty of vegetables are shaped like penises? “Won’t you have fun choosing the perfect size at the grocery store?” Tyler says. “Everyone around you might be shopping for a salad, but you’re shopping for a sex toy.” Use firm vegetables—cucumbers, zucchini, and yellow squash work best—and put a condom on anything you insert. Just be cautious about anal play, Tyler warns. There’s a reason butt plugs have flanges at the end.