Marital Aid Test Kitchen–Topco’s UltraZone Infinite and Tundra Rose

I am a loyalist when it comes to my Hitachi Magic Wand. As I said recently in a Twitter conversation that I had with Sovereign Syre and Dana Vespoli, my Hitachi even has a name. (It's Ponyboy, because he is an "outsider". Get it?) So I don't venture away from my reliable, plug-in-the-wall electric buddy all that often because he is just superb.

I got curious about Topco's UltraZone line when I read this about it, though.

"Our UltraZone collection is a perfect marriage of art and function," said Topco Sales Brand Manager Gerardo Ramos. "The pleasure products were designed to handle practical use, but gorgeously crafted to meet the aesthetic needs of even the most discerning palate."

I love art and I function! Plus, I am a pervert who looks at porno all day long. So if anyone is into trying a new vibrating companion, it's yours fucking truly.

Both of the toys I received from the toy-making peeps at Topco from the UltraZone line--the Tundra Rose and the Infinite--look pretty similar. Both are made of non-porous silicone that cleans easily with antibacterial soap and both are water-resistant but not waterproof. I am not a jilling off in the shower chick so I don't need waterproof. I am a squirter, however, so knowing that I won't die using these is a good thing. They are rechargeable, electric vibes that have magnetic chargers and adapters so that you can charge it in the wall or via the USB port in your laptop, which is what yours truly did.

You know, for Fleshbot. Not for me at all.

Cough.

Both toys also come with fancy satin drawstring bags to keep them in when not in use.

The Infinite has one big button that you press and hold for three seconds to turn it on or off. You can go through the six different vibration patterns. It's got pretty much one speed, barring the different patterns. I like the one speed option in its constant state because it's a strong toy with real power in it. The straight lines of this one make it a great one to use to fuck another girl with and that's how I would use this one.

Pick up the Infinite by clicking here.

The Tundra Rose has a nice gentle G-spot reaching curve to it and the curve makes it good for solo play for those who like to keep things on the outside. (I heart you, Ponyboy. Stay golden.) It's got a flywheel control so you can easily and quickly control the speed to make this puppy go faster or slower. If you like less power on your undercarriage, the Tundra Rose is definitely the one of these I would recommend.

Pick up the Tundra Rose by clicking here.