Miley’s Behind the Times

Miley Cyrus is an ass. Thank God. She is always pushing the envelope, and by that we mean she's pushing her round butt out of the constraints of what The Man wants her to cover it with. Yes, she's a rebel and we love her.

Recently, at the Bangerz Concert in Tacoma, she showed what an ass she is, by showing that ass. For today's pop performer has to be budget conscious and wardrobes cost money. This isn't the 1970s, when Elvis Presley could play Las Vegas and have a dressing room full of sparkling jumpsuits and scarfs to wipe his sweat and hand out to his audience of admirers.

Not that Miley is unappreciative of her fans. That's why she builds up a hot sweat on stage and then shakes her moneymaker to rain her bodily fluids over the crowd. This is a far more democratic way to share the wealth. Instead of just one lucky fan getting a wet scarf, all of her fans get wet. This is something Gallagher pioneered, but Miley has perfected.

We just think there's more for her to do. The skin barrier has been breached, but there's always further to go. You know, Miley, if we can speak so informally to you, there are other body parts that are soaking wet with sweat and other bodily fluids with which you can douse you fans with. Don't neglect your tits or your cooter, which offers the more mucus-based scent of a woman that we would love to bathe in.