Let’s Try To Give You A “Quebec Lesbian Fetish”

Sure, we know a few Canadians who do porn, but we don't know a darn thing about all-girl Quebecois smut. What if there are terms we should be using but aren't aware of? Could there be a cute French-Canadian euphemism for squirting? Something with foutre or perhaps jus?

The information on the box is barely there. The only phrase of substance states, "The girls are hotter, spicier and sluttier [in Quebec] than the rest of Canada." It's then we realize that we don't have any concept of the relative sluttiness of Canada; we're pretty sure America is sluttier, but that's it, and that's just patriotism.

And we may be wrong! "Quebec Lesbian Fetish" goes in many different directions with some real moxie. Take Livia Monroe and Kream, for example: they have a sort of businesswoman/hooker vibe going on that starts with Kream preying on the tatted and leathered-up Livia, but then they flip the script as Livia brings Kream to a squirty finish. Look at them admiring Kream's drenching of the marble table! That demonstrates distance, spread, and most importantly, depravity.

Then Kream switches up the script and goes for an alt-girl vibe with Vandal Vyxen and some instruments and a little graffiti (we're pretty sure the graffiti says Vandal Vyxen on it, which is rad). They fuck each other so hard they have to move drums out of the way--serious business. Kream does a little hair-pulling, some arm-wrenching, and a little gratuitous ass-spreading in the course of working Vandal over with her strap-on. We'd like to believe that this whole scene starts as a confrontation between two taggers. There's nothing hotter than a quick fuck under a blanket of paint fumes.

And then there's a scene between Erika Heaven and Desiree* that is all over the place in a charming manner. Erika seems to have a French(-Canadian) maid hat on, but she also has a leash and collar, and this all happens in a hot tub, except for when Erika is hanging off the crossbeam so Desiree can pound her with a thick vibrator from below. You know what the best part is? The girls turn the jets off when they're just having sex near the tub. Quebecois cuties do it greenly.

We have much to learn about the world, and we might as well start with the sexual habits of our vagina-having-and-admiring neighbors to the North. "Quebec Lesbian Fetish" will be a frequent topic for us at dinner parties for months to come.

· Doghouse Digital (doghousedigital.com)
· Buy "Quebec Lesbian Fetish" (store.fleshbot.com)

* Apologies to the cast if we've mislabeled any of them. It's hard to identify Europorn performers! And yeah, French-Canadian porn counts as Europorn in our minds.