“Mandingo Unchained” Makes Us Wonder If Tarantino Makes Porn

While we're happy not to be dealing with another edition of "Mandingo Massacre," we think "Mandingo Unchained" might be few months too late and also slightly awkward. Then again, Mandjango could be a cool name! And if you pretend his dick is a guitar, he can be Mandjango Reinhardt!

We tend to think of Mandingo's dong as a big clarinet (or better yet, a bassoon), but a bass guitar makes the most sense: it's big, long, and graceful, the ladies like sliding their hands (and mouths) up and down it, and it's got a good low thump that'll hit you right in the gut.

Can you believe that Allie Haze has never fucked Mandingo before? It's true! Well, it's what the box tells us. Thankfully, Jules Jordan put these two together and they're making up for lost time with a rambunctious banging. The sight of Allie's cheek stretched out by Mandingo's glans makes us wonder about how often Ms. Haze opens her jaw that wide. Does she yawn big? Does she make sure the burrito is touching her molars before chomping down upon it? Sexier questions: can Allie feel each vein in Mandingo's cock as it squeezes in her tight pussy? If so, do the veins communicate like braille? "It's lovely in here. Thank you, Allie. XOXO, Mandingo."

Speaking of firsts, Mandingo has the honor of being AJ Applegate's first black scene partner. Of course, we're sure AJ feels honored that Mandingo is opening her up as well. We know AJ is able to take a serious dicking from the mightiest dongs in the industry, but Mandingo is simply a head (and a shaft) above the rest. Don't think we've overlooked the symbolism of her torn fishnet stockings. The restrictive gates to her pussy have been ripped and cast aside--she's in a whole new world of cock-taking now. Cue the song from "Aladdin"!

Meanwhile, there are the girls who are so not doing things for the first time that they're letting Mandingo pound their anuses. The majority of ladies in this film do anal! Vicki Chase, Chastity Lynn, Jessie Volt, and Juelz Ventura each impale themselves upon that well-lubricated baguette he calls a penis. Maybe it's just the photos or the position she's in, but Chastity looks mighty tiny compared to Mandingo's dick. She's like a candy apple on the end of his stick!

It's rare that we get films like "Mandingo Unchained" in which every scene pulls you in with promises of unexplored territories and exciting challenges. First times, belated rendezvous, and anal as far as the eye can see: we hope this series lasts a long time!

· Jules Jordan (julesjordan.com)
· Buy "Mandingo Unchained" (store.fleshbot.com)