Seeking Fresh (Locally-Sourced, Organic) Teenage Asshole

Sure, sometimes in a pinch any regular, run-of-the-mill storebought asshole will do. But when you really want to treat yourself, why not go for the freshest artisanal teen ass out there? It looks great and tastes even better.

We're currently dispatching this missive from Brooklyn itself, the epicenter of the occasionally slightly annoying craft-style movement, so we're basically required to jump on board this train. But like, the quality of this ass is really noticeable. Plus it makes a great complement to our seasonal tablescape, artfully surrounded by richly coloured gourds, golden quince, and dusky elderberries. But all that's just for show. Let's dig in, bros.

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