Lee Roy Myers And Brazzers: A Beautiful Union Of Sex And Silliness

DVD is dying and the future of porn is all online; it's sad but true. Still, we take great comfort knowing that one of our favorite directors, Lee Roy Myers, is keeping his craft alive by directing half-hour scenes for Brazzers. We had the chance to browse through his latest work, and we'd like to share our favorites with you.

The Honey Beaver
The Prince of Parody is down to use whatever source material he pleases, and nothing exemplifies that better than "The Honey Beaver," a spoof of the Youtube sensation "The Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger." Erica Fontes is the subject of the nature show, and as she runs around the field in her skimpy bikini with a dildo in her hand, the narrator does a spot-on impression of Randall's voice. "Oh look, her nipples are trying to escape." he says with a lisp. "Guess she's going to try and catch 'em now!" Later on, Jordan Ash shows up and has sex with her. It's really a straightforward scene--teasing, masturbating, banging, cumshot--but the set-up makes all the difference.

[Watch The Honey Beaver at Brazzers]

Wife on the Line
Now for something a tad more serious. Ann Marie Rios's husband gets into some bad gambling debts with mob boss James Deen, and the only way he'll go free is if James can fuck Ann. The deal is made immediately after the poker game, in a dark storage warehouse, all while James watches Ann on a surveillance camera. It takes her a good long time to decide, but she eventually agrees to submit herself to Mr. Deen, and with much gravity, she walks herself into his office alone. Although James exercises his creepiness and swiftly makes demands of Ann, the sex itself is rather mellow; music diffuses the tension, James cares for Ann's pleasure, and halfway through the fucking, they start giggling about one thing or another. A splendid mix of tension and titillation.

[Watch Wife on the Line at Brazzers]

Butt Sex Blogger
Clearly, we picked this one because it's about a blogger getting laid. Veruca James runs a website where she reviews movies and criticizes actors, namely one Samuel L. Michaels (Sean Michaels) and his habit of wearing baggy pants in every one of his films. "Malicious, lying, gossip spreading bitch," is how Michaels describes Veruca, but Veruca says she loves him and tells him, "You're like Justin Bieber, but black and with facial hair." So why does he wear those oversized pants? It's because he has a handicap: a huge dick. "It's a monster, it's a frickin' monster. No, it's a ghost. It's a ghost like Casper haunting Christina Ricci." But she helps him feel much better about his condition by taking every last inch of that cock in her ass, and damn is she ever appreciative. With his smoothness and her earnestness, they're an amazing team (possibly a dream couple). Now we feel inspired to start a whole blog about Kate Upton's poor choice in sweaters (just kidding, Kate, we dig your style).

[Watch Butt Sex Blogger at Brazzers]

Cum Inside
Next we have India Summer and Michelle Lay putting the "ass" back in "class warfare." These two wealthy dames love the finer things in life, but they know that poor people have the best and biggest dicks. As India puts it, "There's nothing like a lower class cock to shove that caviar back down you're throat." Since none of her hired help is around the house, they decide to take advantage of a homeless man, Jordan Ash, hanging out down the street. "I've seen that bulge he has under his hat full of change and his malt liquor," says India, licking her lips. They lure him inside with a trail of 40s, make him take a shower, and when he comes out naked and asking for food, they offer him their pussies. Classic One Percenters. Michelle and India do an excellent job of taking turns with Jordan's johnson as well as grinding on each other when the need arises, and at the end of it all, you feel like nobody's learned a damn lesson about anything. That's how it should be.

[Watch Cum Inside at Brazzers]

You Cheap Rug Munching Cunt!
We bet Lee Roy was stoked that he got to title this scene "You Cheap Rug Munching Cunt!" How often do you get to name things something so crass? Imagine him bringing it up in conversation. "What are you working on, Lee Roy?" "Same thing as before, 'You Cheap Rug Munching Cunt!'" There goes that friendship. The story focuses on Emily Addison, a young lady who goes to a strip club and gets a sizzling private dance from Leilani Leeane (one that apparently comes with a carafe of wine and a plate of cucumbers). Emily tips Leilani a single dollar and then asks for an encore, and this sets Leilani off. After a long slew of verbal threats slides by Emily, Leilani makes it clear: $500, Leilani will have sex with her, and they'll call it even. "Since you were so good at fucking me over, I'm gonna fuck you real good, stupid cunt." Indeed, she does. The things they do to each other's pussy with their mouths: oh Lord! It's nonstop fingering, sucking, licking, grinding, and moaning, and even though some of the camera work feels a bit frantic, it fits well with Emily's staccato orgasm sounds. Don't forget to look for an appearance by a gigantic double-sided dildo!

[Watch You Cheap Rug Munching Cunt! at Brazzers]

Honorable Mentions

The Whorish Runaways: Did Lee Roy just stick the word whorish into "The Runaways" and turn it into a Joan Jett biopic parody porno? He sure did. Veruca James and Kelly Surfer play hardcore rockstars who are about to call it quits before their manager, James Deen, steps in and shows them the magic of backstage banging.

Tatas Under Siege: Marco Banderas plays a terrorist who hijacks a submarine just as the men on board are getting ready for a party. When Yurizan Beltran pops out of a cake and surprises him, she quickly realizes what she must do: fuck him into powder. We love Marco's intensity, and when it's paired with Yurizan's voluptuous and mesmerizing ways, they put on a dazzling display of all-Latin loving.

The Twilight Bone: "Twilight Zone"-themed porn isn't new, but it's always a pleasure, and Mr. Myers's take on it has a very soft and alluring light that harkens back to some of his New Sensations Romance films. The story is about Kieran Lee selling his soul to the devil for a chance to fuck Eva Angelina; we've all tried to do that before, but it's nice to see Kieran succeed.

[Watch these scenes and more at Brazzers!]

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