Your “Top-Shelf Titties” Won’t Keep Your Heart from Being Broken, Heather Joy

August 6, 2012
GRAM-PONANTE

Goodness knows I am no relationship expert—they give out Counseling degrees with BART passes—but I just don't think it's going to work between Heather Joy and Billy Glide in Hustler's "Busty Beauties: Top Shelf Titties 2."

First, let's consider that the setup is the preliminary phone call prior to a face to face meeting. Joy is on a landline and Glide is on his cell. She is touching herself.

BILLY
So Hey, Girl, I'm glad you called. So are your tits really that big, huh?

HEATHER
Yeah, I have really big tits but I thought you were interested in a relationship.

BILLY
Well, of course I'm interested in a relationship, but a girl's gotta have big tits; that's what I'm attracted to.

HEATHER
Is your dick really that big?

BILLY
Hell yeah. That's 100 percent American muscle, Girl.

HEATHER
Well, I'll text you my address.

BILLY
Well, I'll wait for your text and be over there shortly.

HEATHER
OK I'll see you soon Bye.

Now Ms. Joy is a certified Sex Wraith, with voluminous natural breasts atop a skinny frame. Shortly after hanging up—and how does she text him on her landline, anyway?—she walks into the room and just climbs Glide like a koala.

And it seems like she showed up to his place rather than vice versa.

I believe Joy's character is whacked out on drugs. She shows no sign of the witty conversationalist she was on the phone, and one thing I know about relationships: you have to talk.

That both parties seem to have abandoned the relationship priority over tits and dicks also sends up red flags, not to mention the fact that his dick keeps falling out of her— a sure sign of commitment-phobia.

· Hustler (hustler.com)
· Buy "Busty Beauties: Top Shelf Titties 2" (tlavideo.com)