Kate Upton Is A Danger To Clothes Everywhere

The life of a super powerful bikini model is one of tense balance. Kate Upton practices breathing techniques to maintain the fine equilibrium between clothed and naked; if her focus wandered for just a moment, she might shred her entire wardrobe with a pair of scissors. So, who would like to distract Kate Upton for a moment?

It should just take a quick second. You can ask her about how she's planning to one-up her Dougie video, or you can talk about the (very hidden) tattoo she recently acquired, or maybe you can just tickle her. Then, once you stand back, she should fly into a blur of scissors and lace scraps as she juliennes her wardrobe. Then take pictures (like we have to tell you to take pictures). We swear this isn't taking advantage of Kate Upton's mental state; if anything, it's giving her the catharsis she's been fighting off for so long!

· Via Esquire (esquire.com)