Lockheed Announces Tight-Pussy Guided Missiles For “Couples Seeking Teens 8”

Married couples are sick and tired of trying to find fuckable teens the old fashioned way, and after putting a lot of pressure on the weapons industry, they finally get the divining rod of hot bods they've always dreamed of. Unfortunately, the gadget wasn't ready for the filming of "Couples Seeking Teens 8," so these folk have to do it the old fashioned way.

But hey, the old way has worked for seven other "Couples Seeking Teens" films, and it's going to work now. Even if these people have to bang their children's friends, they're determined to have threesomes with a wide spectrum of ages represented.

Heck, some people just fall into non-ageist threesomes! Tanya Tate and Alec Knight are tired of Kaylee Hilton corrupting their daughter, so they decide to teach her some manners. Everyone knows that step one in etiquette class is to let out all of your bad habits, and it is with that in mind that Tanya claws at Kaylee's chest and rips the dress off her body. First, the naked young ruffian is forced to watch Tanya ride Alec's fat cock, and Tanya makes sure she has a good view by grabbing Kaylee's hair and pulling it in front of her pussy. Next, Kaylee eats Tanya out while receiving doggy style butt massage from Alec (who refuses to take his tanktop off, the brute). By the time Tanya has Alec paint Kaylee's mouth with come, everyone is too exhausted for behavior lessons. Maybe next time!

When Diana Prince and her hubby Jenner signed up to host a British exchange student, they had no idea she'd be so hot. Jackpot! As part of their welcome routine, they offer to introduce Rylie Richman to the world of American sex. After all, better that she experience colonial genitals in the safety of her temporary home instead of some punk's dorm, right? Right. Diana gives her young friend a pubic-hair-eye view of Jenner's long dick sliding inside her before letting her climb aboard her hubby's cock, and with only a little repositioning, Rylie is riding like a regular cowgirl.

Elsewhere, Elaina Raye is brokenhearted because she caught her boyfriend cheating. Her adult friends, Ava Adams and Marco Banderas, decide to show her the virtues of revenge, and while some claim it's best served cold, these two show her that Hot Threeway Pie is the truly the most just of the just desserts. Marco and Ava do their best to replace all of Elaina's sadness with oral sex, which is quite kind of them, but that secret high five they share makes us feel like they're operating under false pretenses. Yes, they're probably just using Elaina, but at least they taught her the golden rule of vengeance: don't get mad, get thoroughly fucked by that strange older couple you hang out with way too often.

You know, maybe we don't want technology to replace the hunt for horny teens. Yes, the older lovers of "Couples Seeking Teens 8" use their wisdom and authority to exploit young girls, but frankly, that's really fucking hot.

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