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In these trying times, we stand as a nation divided, unsure who will be able to lead us to a more peaceful, prosperous future. Some say we should stand behind our current leader, while others feel that a new direction—perhaps one led by an adorable cat named Mittens, or a messy anal sex enthusiast—would be a better choice for us all. Here at Fleshbot, we think the choice is clear: Laura Prepon's cleavage shall lead us to victory.
For truly: who else could unite our nation better than the beautiful curves of the woman who played Donna on "That 70s Show"? Who else could fix the economy, transform health care, and bring world peace—without even leaving the confines of a sexy, yet sensible bra? For those still in doubt, we invite you to observe the candidate in action, during last night's appearance on "Are You There, Chelsea?" If that doesn't convince you that she's more capable than any of the current candidates, well...keep watching.
· "Are You There, Chelsea?" (nbc.com)