We Were Right: “Boss” Is Totally Going To Have Nudity

At first, we were really fucking excited to say that we were right when we predicted sexy times ahead on Starz's newest series, "Boss," starring Kelsey Grammer and Kathleen Robertson. But now we realize it's an empty victory because it's Starz. Of course there's going to be nudity.

Guessing that a new series on Starz will have tits is like betting on the New York Yankees. It's like, "Way to go, you picked the safest wager possible, enjoy your nickel slots." Now that we know Kathleen Robertson is going to be naked, we can't even enjoy it! And she has phenomenal boobs! How do we know it's her nudity headed our way on October 21st? The Los Angeles Times makes it clear:

"Boss (Starz, Oct. 21). Kelsey Grammer taps into the dark waters at which "Frasier" only hinted to play a Chicago mayor hiding a degenerative brain. Connie Nielsen is his alienated wife, Martin Donovan his matter-of-fact amanuensis, Kathleen Robertson the aide who gets naked for premium cable."

There you have it. Premium cable promises carnal fun. But why doesn't this feel right? It's because we know (and we mention this all the time) that Starz executives strongly encourage nudity on all of their shows, so any bit of T or A we get feels like a gimmick, a busty carrot dangling in front of our wagon, a topless mandate from the top brass.

Watching HBO and Showtime is different for us. A lady comes on screen, she's scantily clad, we wonder if she'll get naked, and we're riveted for the rest of the scene. Yes, we're also paying attention to the non-adult content, but that's not the point. The point is there's a game to most premium cable shows with an MA rating. At the very least, there's usually a complicated formula that pits the writers' vision for the show against the audience's involvement for the characters, subtracts for censorship, and multiplies it by however much money it takes to get Anna Paquin topless. We're not good with numbers, so when Sookie shows up naked in some snowy woods, it's a huge surprise!

So you know what? Kathleen Robertson's breasts are in the mail, and we might not sign for the package. (Oh who are we kidding, we want to see them unleashed; they're divinely huge.)

· Via Upcoming Nude Scenes (upcomingnudescenes.net)