Porn For Straight Girls: If You Need Guidance

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I prefer to think of "Fuck Myself 2" as more of an instructional video than entertainment-purposes porno. It's two hours of women masturbating, which is great if you need new and inventive ways to get yourself off. I feel it's especially pertinent if you like watching girls orgasm. Or if you're thinking of masturbating in front of your partner!

If you read my column on "Wet 2," you've more or less read my review of this as well. The films are both from Low Art, and while this features girls fucking themselves with their hands/dildos/candles and "Wet 2" had them fucking one another, the format remains constant. Sexy music, lots of water and low lights and chairs in the middle of warehouses!

Hmm. What is there to say, really, about a bunch of hot girls masturbating? Well, they're hot. I preferred Cadence Cross, because I love her tattoos, the fact that she bothered using a dildo, and that she had no music for the first part of her scene (it's totally silent.) I also liked Jayden James, who played with candle wax, and Tiffany, who wore some awesome purple eyeshadow and slightly resembled that singer from the '80s named Tiffany, and Ann Marie Rios, who's just really freaking sexy.

The only person who I wasn't really into was Shyla Stylez. That's because she was wearing this sheer white nylon body suit and poured what appeared to be grape Kool-Aid all over herself. Also some orange Kool-Aid. I don't really forsee imitating that unless I'm masturbating outside in the summertime, possibly by a private pool. (I don't know anyone with a private pool, unfortunately, so that's unlikely.)

I think this would be a good film to have in your collection if you like watching girls (as I know some of you do) but you're bored of the interactions between performers. I get tired of that sometimes. I don't want my masturbation concentration (ha) broken by some inane dialogue that I can't help but make fun of. I really love male masturbation films, the kind that you usually get as bonus scenes in gay porn, so this was a fun change of pace in that realm.

Also, Low Life advertises pretty heavily that this is shot on film. I didn't see much difference, but maybe you're into that! I really did think this movie was sexy, especially the dark, industrial aesthetic. Not quite as good as the lesbian sex of "Wet 2," but still definitely worth seeing.

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Previously: Porn For Straight Girls Archive