Take A Refreshing Dip: How To Have Sex In A Swimming Pool

Pool sex: it seems like a sexy idea, but is it? As part of our Fleshbot Summer Fun Fest, we've decided to dive into the captivating, chlorinated world of aquatic sexual activities. Let's hope the lifeguard doesn't notice.

Care for a dip? There are a lot of fun reasons to have sex in a pool, including (but not limited to):

Water is fun! It makes your movements all slow and syrupy, the resistance adds extra sensations to all your naughty bits, and you can use the buoyancy to access sexual positions too difficult for dry land.

It's glamorized in movies and on TV. The rich and famous don't have sex in beds. They fuck at wild, Illuminati-run orgies, buy private islands and throw pillows on the beach, or—if they must have intercourse in their domiciles—they do it in swimming pools. Or maybe hot tubs. When we think of pool sex, we envision something like that scene from "Showgirls" (but with less flopping).

You have access to a pool. And, of course, you have privacy. Whether you own the pool or you've just hopped someone else's fence, having submerged sex just feels like the appropriate thing to do. But is it a safe thing to do?

Hell naw it's not safe. We don't recommend having sex submerged in water. There are a number of issues involved with contraception that will come up later in this guide, but regardless of your birth control method, sexual intercourse presents a few extra risks when underwater—especially for women. For example, the water actually washes away a woman's natural lubricant, so actual intercourse may be painful and cause tearing inside the vagina. According to research done at UC Santa Barbara, not all hot tubs and pools are adequately chlorinated, and contain an above average amount of bacteria. If the tearing and germs don't cause discomfort, there's a chance that the chlorine will disrupt the healthy bacteria, change the pH of the vagina, and lead to a yeast infection. Still interested?

Tools for your pool: Spontaneity sounds nice, but you'll be happier if you plan ahead. You should bring...

Contraception: Obviously. Condom users should be aware that A) condoms are not tested for strength underwater, B) chemicals in the water may damage durability, C) the water will wash away the lubricant, and D) the condom is likely to slip off, especially if water seeps in between the penis and the plastic. Keep a few extra condoms nearby.

Silicone-based lubricant: It's water resistant and condom safe! Apply liberally, apply often.

A waterproof vibrator: JimmyJane makes a bunch of high-end waterproof vibes, but if you're looking for something more affordable, try the Waterdancer, a pocket vibe both discreet and powerful.

A snorkel and some goggles: So you can go down on your partner without having to come up for air all the time.

Different Strokes: What do you do once you're lubed up and ready for intercourse?

Pick a side: Don't try to tread water and have sex, that's a surefire way to get a cramp and you probably won't have a lifeguard on duty in case things go bad. Grab a semi-shallow spot by the edge of the pool, perhaps using the wall for leverage.

Stairs and ladders: Use anything you can to steady yourself and your partner. Cosmo suggests trying a position called The Hot-Tub Hug in which the female straddles the male as he sits on the bench (or, if you're in the pool, the stairs). Rocking back and forth is probably preferable to lurching up and down.

Take it slowly: It's easy to get excited and—water resistance be damned—fuck your partner's brains out, but try not to go overboard. Forcing water up the vagina results in discomfort (and sometimes infections).

Our final bit of advice: Pool sex is overrated. Pool foreplay, however, can be hot and safe, as can submerged oral sex (no head holding, please). Have a splash fight, play Strip Marco Polo, let your silicone-lubricated hands run all over each other like pervy fish, but when it's time for the seahorse shuffle, get out and do it on dry land. Do it on a lounger by the pool—it's just as glamorous as submerged sex, and carries none of the risks. After you're done, reapply sunscreen and take a nice refreshing dip.

· Photo by John B. Root (galleries.rebootcash.com)