Marital Aid Test Kitchen: The Ballz Gag

With my very limited experience in the arena of BDSM playthings, I approached the Ballz Gag with an equal mix of curiosity and wonder.

It didn't come with instructions, but I assumed it was pretty self-explanatory: balls go in, become gag via headstrap. Luckily I had a compliant pair of balls to work with. However, when we got down to business, we found that the ball harness was way, way too tight to contain any human balls. Now I'm aware that comfort probably isn't the point of the Ballz Gag, and that pain is a fine fetish for many, myself included to some extent. But I'm talking no regular set of nuts would be able to fit—and my partner doesn't even have the heftiest of sacks. I tried squeezing, sliding, prodding... There was just too much sack and too little give in the straps to make this even physically possible. The ends weren't even close to being able to snap together.

So I ran over to the internet to look up an illustrative image, and it looked like we were using it correctly. We soldiered on, belting just one ball this time. That was naturally uncomfortable for the ball-bearer, but it worked out alright. And then... there were balls strapped to my mouth—one squeezed tight while the other roamed free, spilling over the harness. We found ourselves basically indifferent, though I'm sure others in a similar position would find themselves less confused and more enthused. Perhaps it was due to our initial struggle, improper usage, or maybe ballplay is just not our forte...but for us the Ballz Gag was a flop.

· Buy the Ballz Gag (stockroom.com)