Rocco Siffredi, “Animal Trainer”

With the amount of porn sent to me (for free!) every week, I have come to appreciate any non-standard scene setups. There are only so many times, for example, I can watch Darryl Hanah absently masturbating on a couch as a cock enters from the left of frame before I ... well, watch a hundred more scenes just like it. Thank the Intelligent Designer that Gawker pays me so handsomely!

See how Rocco Siffredi upends our sensibilities after the gap. (Just don't mention the title to PETA.)

. . .

The opening of European star Rocco Siffredi's "Animal Trainer 24" finds an artist painting two mesh-clad models, one adventurous, one overcome with Euro-ennui, as some homunculus emerges from a nearby stream and begins posing with them. If the whole continent hadn't been ruined for me by "The Final Countdown," I'd be on a plane there right now.

Eventually the painter gets in on the action, too, as the narrative demands.

The next scene joins the previous one in dispelling the myth that European porn actresses lack affect. The game Caty says, in English broken just the right way, that she "like to be this way." She is slapped around with a penis as the narrative demands.

In the next scene, an artist colony setting, Siffredi surprises two nymphs spying on one of his muses. "Are you scared?" he says to one of them, holding out a ball gag. "You know what's that." Another man joins in.

"It's too much!" says the muse.

"It's not too much," replies Siffredi.

Siffredi's performers dive into each other like a bowl of spaghetti. They slap, they spit, they fall over themselves to get at each other. While the camera never seems to pan out far enough or stay anywhere long enough to provide the flesh landscapes Americans enjoy, what Rocco's movies do is paint a picture of a place in which everyone and his brother - as well as a sea monster - get in on the action.

· Evil Angel (evilangel.com)
· Buy "Rocco: Animal Trainer 24" (tlavideo.com)