Today In Foreign Underpants: “Sticky Knickers”

I am not going to use the rhetorical tactic of hyperbole and say that "Sticky Knickers" is the most important porn film of all time. But I will say that the Pablo Ferro-style titles and the minor chord synthesizer smushings atop Kubrickian wide shots of bleak warehouse spaces and Priva in her underthings makes me think that the producers of the movie think it's pretty damn important.

All the stranger, then, to call such an opus "Sticky Knickers."

What drives these single-named Eurohotties to this warehouse where they encounter men on a lingerie-coordinated couch that changes upholstery between scenes? It is fair to say that only they know. Still, it must have freed up some money for a dialogue coach.

Each scene begins with some masturbation (for you, anyway) set to house music. Then our heroine is joined by one or two Eurofellers.

Why does the guy on the right look like a character from "Dick Tracy" if a lot of the camera angles suggest "Batman"? As Priva might say, "It is a puzzlement."

The final scene featured two zesty, tasty women who nevertheless consernted to be filmed (and their scene to be edited) by a crazy person. The camera did not linger long on any body part for long, and I wanted it to. Compared to the rest of the movie, it seemed as if the day crew left and the night crew arrived bearing only a lime couch tarp and some meth. Sad, because I wanted to eat these women for breakfast and elevenses.

Just so you know, no one's knickers got particularly sticky; they came off pretty fast, and probably dried by the time the scene was over.

· Daring Media (daringsex.com)
· Buy "Sticky Knickers" (gamelink.com)

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Previously: The Couches of Europe