Real Life Lessons From Porno Plots: How To Become An Assassin

Fans of Digital Playground's newest star Angelina Armani may have found themselves wondering what, exactly, the "big hit" referenced in the title of Angelina's debut DVD refers to.

Well, it's not just Angelina's performance (though that does inspire more than a few fireworks): "The Big Hit" is actually the tale of a girl (Angelina) who—bored with ordinary life—decides to pursue a career as an assassin. Hey, makes sense to us!

As the film follows Angelina's journey from bored kept woman to badass hitwoman, it provides some very helpful insights about the world of hired guns. Since we're sure there are more than a few of you out there with a taste for murder (and a desire to make money off it), we thought we'd provide you with a simple five step guide for becoming an eliminator.

Step One: Find a company that's hiring hired guns. (Your best bet? Go talk to the guy who used to fuck the sister of your best friend's boyfriend.)

Step Two: The interview. Don't be surprised if you're asked to take your clothes off. Isn't half of being a superassassin being a superseductress?

Step Three: Get a gun. Broke? Use sex to barter for it.

Step Four: Make your first hit. This will probably entail some intense awesome sex, so be prepared.

Step Five: Celebrate. With sex, naturally.

· Buy "Angelina Armani: The Big Hit" (digitalplayground.com)