College Girls: This Time They’re Lesbians

September 4, 2009
LANK

It's the long weekend after the first week at college, and you know what that means: tentative, tender lesbian exploration. "Do you think it's all right?" they whisper, removing the Gunds and keepsake American Girl dolls to reveal puffy ...

...labia.

Well, none of that happens in this movie. But you should still watch it.

Now I happen to know that at least three of the women featured in Hustler's "Real College Girls Lesbian Stories 3" never attended any institution of post-secondary education, but damn, these girls can act.

"Sometimes I feel used after having sex with myself," says Georgia Jones to Alyssa Reece, lounging on a leatherette couch in that porny, overmiked way where you can hear their heels poking into the upholstery. The idea is that no one really believes they are college girls (Jones mispronounces "extracurricular") but at least they give it the old college try.

Sometimes I come across (well, not literally—I appreciate porn for its fonts) DVDs that make me wonder about who the target audience is. Andre Madness seems to have directed this cast, which also includes Eden Adams, the juicy Alexa Jordan, Winter Sky, and Marie McCrae, to appeal in a non-threatening manner to porn consumers who don't just tune out male porn performers but regard them as a threat.

Each segment begins with an interview in which two women extol the virtues of girls, how they're soft and pretty, smell good, and are polite. Then they fuck each other, gently.

The other day I was in my old college bookstore and I was sad to see my student ID had expired. I could have used the discount. It's times like that that I wish I were younger. But then I see a movie like this and think, "I'm glad lesbians didn't look like this when I was in college, because I wouldn't have gotten any work done." Or extracurricular activities.