Moving Beyond: Ophoria Beyond #3 Dildo

With such a Sci Fi Channel name, one might expect this Japanese silicone dildo to not look so jaunty. Yet jaunty dildos are just what we need for these uncertain times.

The Beyond (or GSpot Dildo)'s only frills are its curlicue ends and frank GSpot-adjacent nub. There are no batteries, MP3 players, or lasers to spoil your serene vaginal landscape. It is like a Japanese rock garden for your parts (though the model we got was a distracting pink).

Curved as it is, the Beyond gave our test subject the sensation of being unlocked, though her own curious/glorious inner topography prevented the GSpot nub to gain purchase. We experimented with her flipping over onto her stomach with the device still inside her, and it almost worked.

The handle was perfect for maneuvering the dildo this way and that, whether in solo experiments or with a lab partner, and the solid silicone of the doodad had a nice heft to it for later beatings about the head and neck.

The dismount was problematic, however, as anything so curved is difficult to picture once it goes in.

"I don't like when it came out," our test subject said, which is a recommendation in itself.

Full disclosure requires I say that the Ophoria is also useful for prostate stimulation.

"Would you like to try it?" our test subject said.

"Ha ha ha no," I said.

· Buy "Ophoria Beyond #3" (erosboutique.com)