“Asia Noir 6”: Must Be the Season of the (Evil Sex Trap Warehouse) Witch

Who is turning L.A.'s Asian-loving black men into zombies and/or murdering them? Why doesn't Mr. Marcus *69 Ange Venus before following her phone calls into an evil sex trap warehouse? Is Coco Velvett really Asian? Learn this and more as we finally review the aptly titled "Asia Noir 6."Asia Noir 6: Evil Sex Trap! Trent (Mr. Marcus) wakes up in his own body, uncertain of who he is. He sees only the slick suit, the police badge, and the sidearm. He's in a bad part of Los Angeles, the kind where dreams don't come true, and he's getting drunk-dialed by a mostly incoherent Oriental Black Widow (Ange Venus), who beckons the amnesiac into her evil sex trap warehouse. Her evil sex trap warehouse, I add, where things aren't as they seem. Sex is happening there. Black men on Asian women sex (Dick James and Lana Violet). And does Mr. Marcus start having flashbacks? Does he know, now, why he's here? Asia Noir 6, like the best low-budget porn movies, succeeds because it follows certain rules and does not stray from its own economy. For example, most of the important dialogue is in voiceover, which Marcus delivers convincingly, a late-night DJ mixed with a dude you don't want to mess with. The noir aspect is also not overwhelming. Director David Aaron Clark realizes that the audience has to see (please tell this to Wicked Pictures), so the noir is more in the mood and the skin tone of the performers than in the lighting. In the evil sex trap warehouse, Marcus stumbles on a sexual encounter. His LAPD instincts returning, he mostly watches. But when it looks as if things will get ugly for the Destiny, he acts. But the girl disappears, and now Marcus has murdered Dick James. Meanwhile, Ange Venus continues her cryptic phone calls. Myself, I would have fled, but Marcus is dogged and patient. He continues patrolling the evil sex trap warehouse until he finds Coco Velvett, who is a secretary "down the hall." Spookily, Velvett's hair is down on one floor and up on the next. Ange Venus' dialogue coach must have been handling the continuity. Velvett fills Marcus in on what goes on in the building. There's an Import/Export business on this floor and a porn studio, Velvett whispers, in the basement. Marcus gets himself down there fast, where he meets Myla Montez, who doesn't have to try too hard to seduce him. I am not making excuses here, but the awkward readings of heightened dialogue by some of the actresses gently nudges the overall creepiness of the movie. It is rare that bad line readings in a serious porn movie actually work. But here they serve to increase Marcus' -pardon the pun- disorientation. When working with a limited budget, any tool in the shed is helpful. Upstairs, a frightened Velvett has dreams about Marcus, even as he works on Montez below (so "below" is Marcus' work on Montez that she doesn't take her shirt off). But girls keep disappearing after they've been serviced by black men in this movie, and Montez vanishes. Marcus gets dressed and finds Velvett being throttled by Destiny, a strap-on succubus. He's not a very good cop. Must call William Bratton and tell him that there's a homicide detective in L.A. letting nice girls get strapped by ghosts. Destiny, Montez, and Venus are, you see, an evil ghostly trinity bent on vengeance for a crime Trent committed in the conscious world. When Trent finally figures it out, things have gone irretrievably creepy, and it is too late. He discovers the part he has played, and why he is at least partly responsible for the events. Of course, the vindictive spirits might have forgiven him, but vengeance is a bitch. Studio: Metro Director: David Aaron Clark Cast: Ange Venus, Mr. Marcus, Coco Velvett, Destiny, Lana Violet, Myla Montez, Dick James Review by: Gram Ponante · Metro (metrointeractive.com) · Buy "Asia Noir 6: Evil Sex Trap!" (filthyadultdvd.com)