Today in Cake: Taking a Bite out of “Muffin Tops”

As you well know, the term "Muffin Top" first appeared in Samuel Pepys' description of London's Great Fire in 1666 ("Pudding Lane...is what she eats...no kidding") but it has taken until now to bring the Muffin Top to porn, probably since the Transsexual MILF craze has run its course."You caught my eye as you walked down the street/I was drawn to your middle meat" declares the "Muffin Tops" theme song. In the fashion typical of director Jim Powers, stars Brooke Scott and Marlie True begin the movie by doing a ho-stroll down a crowded street in broad daylight until they are won over by a man offering them jumbo ice cream cones Claudia Downs and Rucca Paige were also encouraged to buy jeans a couple sizes too small. Powers in his boredom and despair (we approve of both) lets people like Otto Bauer, in his scene with True, improvise a Dada scene about avocadoes "Juicy fucking fruit from a juicy fucking fat-leafed tree, Baby," he says. Then he returns to the script: "Reach back here and open your fucking butt." Muffin Tops are so in demand in the world of this film that Claudia Downs (it is amazing she came back) is forbidden from going to the gym. "That's so sweet," she says. In the final scene, veteran porner Dave Hardman consoles Rucca Paige that Muffin Tops beat "90-lb. tweakers" all the time. "Do you love my Muffin Top?" she sobs with joy. If we didn't know the work of Jim Powers better, we would say this movie is a celebration of femininity and empowering of the proudly voluptuous. But that was almost certainly not the intention. Still, these women are some tasty pastries. · Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com) · Buy "Muffin Top" (gamelink.com)