Read My Lips (If You Can): “Natural Bush 41”

It wasn't intended this way, but that's how I took it. Here in the waning days of Bush 43--when we look back on an administration that, strange as it may seem, made the tenure of his dad look comparatively awesome--comes an amateur movie called "Natural Bush 41," in which the very performers pubicly hearken back to 1989. Those were the days.

Absent porn star posturing and filled with smiling naked people, "Natural Bush 41" (how did we miss the first 40?) begins strong with the bathtub performance of an adorable someone named Tara Tainton, who grew her hair out for us. If this is her choice of a porn name, all we can say is "Bravo."

"Oh, look how good my hairy pussy looks," demands a woman named Hunny Bunny of her placid partner. "Fuck the bush." Well all right.

21-year-old Holly Pink says she has never felt a big cock. "Only tiny ones," she said. We don't believe this. One of the triumphs of the modern porn industry is the removal of pubic hair, which makes penises look bigger.

Finally comes stylish former Brooklynite Raven, who foregoes men for a toy.

I have never seen a Homegrown movie before, and enjoyed this one just for the diversity of shape in the models and the less predatory nature of the behind-the-camera interviewers; everyone looked like she was having a good time.

Still, in the same way that I can't imagine life without the Internet, I watched with clinical, anthropological interest at the cunnilingus scenes the way I would at, say, a native rain dance. "This is fascinating," I said.

· Homegrown Video (homegrownvideo.com)
· Buy "Natural Bush 41" (gamelink.com)