“Orgy At The Villa”: Portuguese Poolside Poontang

When we see the hairless, lush pussy of a willing European barmaid presented to us as frankly as a UN resolution we wonder, "Why did we ever leave?"

Orgy at the Villa

Studio: Private
Director: Andrew Newman
Cast: Madison Parker, Simone Peach, Jasmyne Black, Mike Angelo, Natalli di Angelo, Kid Jamaica, Naomy, Sandy, Eve Angel, Zenza Raggi

Review by: Gram Ponante

When I received Private's "Orgy at the Villa," I assumed the venerable Barcelona-based porn giant was getting into the parody market and taking aim at Italian prime minister Silvio Berlusconi's flabby adulterous escapades. Luckily I was wrong.

Instead, this delightful Euroromp follows Mario, described in voiceover as a Chicago nightclub owner who turned state's witness (don't worry - this bit of subtext is never mentioned again) as he beds bartenders and exotic dancers in tandem with his Brazilian buddy Marcos in sunny Portugal.

I am not as familiar with Europe's porn talent as I am with America's resources. But I want to be.

As Mario and Marcos reunite at the latter's villa with their dates, we watch in fascination as the blonde who just sucked her own ass off Marcos' dick greets the couples' guests. Luckily it is in the European way, with kisses on the cheeks, rather than full on the mouth.

Mario takes a nap after his trip but his girlfriend greets Marcos for a tryst on the balcony. We get the sense that Mario wouldn't mind, as everyone knows there will be an orgy later anyway. And even though Marcos doesn't seem like the brightest bulb (after his guests have been at his villa for several minutes, he announces "this is my house!"), we understand implicitly that the two men have shared much in their lives.

And, as guests filter in with a voiceover describing their relationship with one another ("Eve left Marcos' huge cock for Sandy's plump pussy lips"), we are again reminded that socialized healthcare is not the only reason to live in Europe.

The voiceovers are charming. Private releases movies in several languages so we are happy for the effort, even if, narratively, we know that no backstory will matter if there's going to be a giant poolside fuckfest at the end of the movie (which there is).

A character is introduced later in the movie, Mike (the dramatis personae are not really made clear, but it is easy to tell from the credits that Marcos, the black guy, is Kid Jamaica, and Mario, who speaks with a Hungarian accent, is the multi-pseudonymned Zenza Raggi, so that the person identified by the voiceover as "Mike" must be the only other man listed in the credits: Mike Angelo. No one said reviewing porn was easy. Oh, someone did? Well it's not) who has the best job of the movie: he picks up a stunning large-breasted girl on the beach and takes her to the orgy at the villa. At press time I can't figure out who she is, but she is the type of woman who can box your ears with her breasts, like she was the porn version of Mr. Gower from "It's A Wonderful Life."

The characters thus assembled, each with his or her own backstory provided by a narratrix who may or may not be in the movie, the event described in the title happens after an awkward mimosa toast. Poolside, on lounges, with high heels, drinks in hand, they fuck, and fuck, and fuck.

I don't know what else to say about this movie other than I believed it. I think this actually happened. If only Silvio Berlusconi could have been there.

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Buy "Orgy at the Villa" (gamelink.com)
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Buy "Orgy at the Villa" (gamelink.com)
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Buy "Orgy at the Villa" (gamelink.com)
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Buy "Orgy at the Villa" (gamelink.com)
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Buy "Orgy at the Villa" (gamelink.com)
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Buy "Orgy at the Villa" (gamelink.com)
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Buy "Orgy at the Villa" (gamelink.com)
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Buy "Orgy at the Villa" (gamelink.com)
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Buy "Orgy at the Villa" (gamelink.com)
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Buy "Orgy at the Villa" (gamelink.com)
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Buy "Orgy at the Villa" (gamelink.com)
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Buy "Orgy at the Villa" (gamelink.com)
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Buy "Orgy at the Villa" (gamelink.com)
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Buy "Orgy at the Villa" (gamelink.com)
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Buy "Orgy at the Villa" (gamelink.com)
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Buy "Orgy at the Villa" (gamelink.com)
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Buy "Orgy at the Villa" (gamelink.com)