Cure Your “Big Tit Fixation” By Entering This Contest

It's that time again. One lucky commenter will get into our Sexclusive Club, and everyone else gets another chance at glory. Aren't Fridays fun?

Earlier this week, we watched as Tom Byron wrestled with a new addiction with breasts... vicariously through Derrick Pierce's penis. The way we see it, we need to help Tom out. Some people might suggest sending him through a twelve-step tit program and cleaning him up, but it's really more fun to sink to his level. With that in mind:

Write an ode to big breasts. I think we all know how this one goes, so an example isn't really necessary. For consistency's sake, here's a quick haiku on the topic:

Big Tit Fixation,
If only nipples had sight:
Eye contact achieved.

Not my finest work, but you get the idea.

You can write the ode however you choose. Haiku, limerick, sonnet, story, anecdote, pledge of allegiance, whatever; but keep it short and sweet.

Post your entries in the comments section. In one week, we'll give the winner a hot dose of Vitamin-B(oob) with his or her very own copy of Big Tit Fixation!

And now this week's winner must be named. As always, the entries were lovely, and deeply honest. We especially appreciate the chutzpah SexyHard put into the slew of limericks he wrote (and we hereby pledge to have more poetry contests). But we're going to have to give the grand prize sueslovemaster for his redecorating game:

College in the late 70s... how to stand out from all the guys competing for the most limited of resources: willing females. Bright idea: cover every surface of the rented bedroom with aluminum foil. Ceiling. Windows. Walls. Dresser. Door.

It worked but I still get ribbed by the surviving college buddies.

How did that possibly work? We desperately want to hear the details.

Anyway, congratulations, sueslovemaster! You have skipped the lines, passed the velvet rope, and the free copy of "Sexclusive # 2" is all yours. We'll be contacting you through your profile page to let you know how to claim your prize.

· Carmella Bing, star of "Big Tit Fixation," via Big Tit Boss (realitykings.com)