Learn The Feminine Mystique From “Not The Brady Bunch XXX: Pussy Power”

Sure, this episode was good, but Will Ryder should probably move on before Cousin Oliver shows up.

Not The Bradys XXX: Pussy Power

Studio: LFP Distribution/X-Play
Director: Will Ryder
Cast: Lexi Belle, Dylan Riley, Kacey Jordan, Alana Evans, Lynn Lemay, Ashlyn Rae, Nicole Ray, Tanner Mayes, Mike Horner, Kris Slater, James Deen, Mikey Butders, Ron Jeremy, Eric John, Seth Gamble, Dane Cross

On this episode of "Not The Bradys," young Jan (now played by Dylan Riley) feels neglected by her family, teachers, and—most of all—the boys at her school. Little does Jan know that all she needs to get a little attention (or tickets to a concert, or good grades) is some Pussy Power. And with that skirting-the-edges-of-sexist comment, let the film begin!

Lucky for Jan, bad girl Tanner Mayes shows up at the Brady Compound and wildly masturbates in Jan's bed, which somehow introduces her to the world of mature decisions and sexual favors. Jan realizes that the key to Marcia's success has always been blowjobs, and so her only hope of "being good at something" lies in emulating her big sister.

Meanwhile, everyone else is having sex, looking good in their ‘70s garb, maintaining erections and wholesome imagery, etc. Lexi Belle is the new Marcia, and she fits the role just fine. Her secret romp with the high school quarterback is not only inspirational to the viewer, but to Jan and Cindy as well.

On the male side of things, all is well. James Deen is still adorable as Peter. He somehow manages to look goofy and enthusiastic in the middle of his scene with Tanner, just like good ol' Christopher Knight. Mikey Butders embodies the coy Bobby Brady just as well. His threesome with Ashlyn Rae and Nicole Ray is one of the finest in Brady family history. Except maybe for that one time Alice stumbled into Mr. and Mrs. B's bedroom.

But hey, gang! There are some things more disappointing than Jan's violin playing (insert laugh track here). They still haven't delivered on that real, slow Sam the Butcher/Alice loving, although the characters talk about it non-stop. However, there is a simulated sex scene in which Alice ducks behind the kitchen island and Ron Jeremy pretends to be fellated most comically. Like most of the humor in Will Ryder parodies, this goes until it becomes awkward, keeps going, and then arbitrarily stops.

All in all, it feels like another Will Ryder movie: the sex is very good, the comedy is very bad, and everyone can feel ok about the lack of Brady-on-Brady boinking. The whole Pussy Power thing is something to think about. We always wondered how Carol convinced a man to take her and her three daughters in; "much more than a hunch" indeed.

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