She Was Valedictorian Of Thigh High

And when she went to college, she majored in Looking Good In Tighty-Whities with a minor in Topless Studies. We love educated women.

We might have preferred if her minor had been her major, but we can't be picky. She was clearly an A+ student, and your college studies have so little to do with your career choice. Basically, Diana Moldovan, we're trying to tell you that you're hired. Please be at work on Monday.

· razor's edge (theones2watch.com)