All We Hear Is Radio Ta-Ta: “K-jugs”

Maybe a station frequency that has decimal points in the hundredths strains credibility, but there are other straining, incredible things going on in "K-Jugs 96.69" to occupy you.

KJugs 96.69

Like any classic Mickey Rooney/Judy Garland romp, "KJugs 96.69" is about a group of plucky kids who want to put on a show - in this case, a radio show - in the face of oppression. Unlike Judy Garland, however, these show-folk have massive tits.

The Smithsonian should purchase Florida's boob-centric Score Group, because there is something timelessly American about big boobs and the uniquely Floridian way these women proudly heave them about.

Renee, a chirpy radio intern, gets her big break when she subs for reigning DJ diva Samantha who, when she drawls the station's call letters, licks her lips.

In between there is an undulabulous parade of flesh and zaftig pride. K-jugs guest Jade Parker, one of this generation's crop of celebrity sex therapists who actually have sex, says, "No skinny flat chested wannabe fashionista can teach a big girl anything about cock worship."

When watching a Score movie I always feel like I'm viewing the sentient seas of the planet Solaris; eventually all that flesh takes on an identity of its own and I can no longer discern where one fold ends and another begins. But no one in the movie seems to mind getting lost in there, and that is one of the movie's many positive messages.

My only complaint is a pet peeve about porn in general: if you're going to invoke the position "69," at least show one; what if the consumer's fetish was not big jugs but instead the mutual fellatio best achieved by a 69? Well, that person would be tits outta luck.

· Buy "K-Jugs" (k-jugs.com)

Buy "K-Jugs" (k-jugs.com)
Buy "K-Jugs" (k-jugs.com)
Buy "K-Jugs" (k-jugs.com)
Buy "K-Jugs" (k-jugs.com)
Buy "K-Jugs" (k-jugs.com)
Buy "K-Jugs" (k-jugs.com)
Buy "K-Jugs" (k-jugs.com)
Buy "K-Jugs" (k-jugs.com)
Buy "K-Jugs" (k-jugs.com)
Buy "K-Jugs" (k-jugs.com)
Buy "K-Jugs" (k-jugs.com)
Buy "K-Jugs" (k-jugs.com)
Buy "K-Jugs" (k-jugs.com)
Buy "K-Jugs" (k-jugs.com)
Buy "K-Jugs" (k-jugs.com)