Life’s Rich Pageant: “It’s Real 2”

Once, when the carnival passed through Bogue Chitto, your young narrator visited the freak tent and asked a darkened figure what she, the Donkey Lady, ate. "Chicken," she said.

It's Real 2

Studio: Muffia
Director: Ash
Starring: Kyanna Lee, Tina, Morales, Alyssa, Carmen

Review by: Gram Ponante

I left, feeling bad about myself for even going in in the first place, but also suspicious about why the goddamn lights weren't on. Like you, it is important to me to See the Donkey.

This is what was on my mind when I received "It's Real #2," a collection of porn scenes featuring women with special physical attributes beyond the five separate parts of the female anatomy most in demand of a porn actress.

There's Tina. She has a vestigial tail. "I need custom-made panties," she said. "I usually don't wear them."

Then there's Kyanna, who has extra-frank nipples. Morales' nipples, on the other hand, are of standard size, but she has five of them. Carmen has a split tongue that makes fellatio extra-exciting, and Alyssa has a lot of pubic hair.

(Alyssa was very pretty, but her ultra-carpeted vag was nothing John Holmes didn't see on a daily basis.)

What I appreciated about this movie was that these women fucked just like everyone else you'd seen in an amateur porn movie and, in Kyanna's case, better. And the crew and male talent were respectful after the Big Reveal.

I am not going to say anything about this being empowering, because I'd be talking out of my perfectly-normal ass. But as a straight male I'd venture that no amount of extra nipples or vestigial tails could sway the goal-oriented man from his primordial urge to continue his bloodline unless a woman showed up with no holes at all.

(Because even when we're getting blowjobs we're thinking, "I'll name this one Carl and I'll teach him how to drive a tractor and throw a slider.")

· Muffia (muffia.com)
· Buy "It's Real 2" (gamelink.com)