Marital Aid Test Kitchen: The G-Swirl

I have long sworn by a simple, vibrating bullet-style stimulus as my go-to get-off. So, upon receiving the strange and intriguing Good Vibrations G-Swirl, I was quite excited for my horizons to be expanded.

Now, I've never been able to go "all the way" with the standard stick-dildo. Something about it is just... lacking for me. I'm not sure if it's the way I use them, or just a body thing, but I've always found myself giving up and going back to my trusty little vibrating bunny. With the G-Swirl, I was hoping the curved shape and strong vibrations would reach that elusive spot I'd been neglecting and propel me to a land of pleasures yet unimagined.

But there were some obstacles. Before commencing, I attempted to read the user's manual to see how best to go about usage, but found descriptions for so many, many settings that I figured hands-on education would be more helpful. So I was exploring the settings myself, which was made a bit more difficult by what I consider to be pretty obstinate buttons.

On the plus side, the G-Swirl has more than one button—which we've determinedto be problematic in the past. With the G-Swirl, you've got a plus and minus button to scroll through and revert back to various options, as well as a "Turbo" button. But you have to push really hard to trigger the buttons, which sort of detracts from the moment. And to be honest, the difficulty in enacting the Turbo setting basically rendered it unimpressive.

Still, I soldiered on. Maybe I just don't have a G-spot or something, but even upon finding a satisfying setting there wasn't a whole lot going on in there. I threw on some porn, got into it a bit, and still nothing. As a fallback, the G-Swirl has an attractive-looking top ridge, which I imagined would offer supplementary clitoral stimulation in the style of my little bunny, but I found the ridge too small to fully contact and therefore too indirect to really be valuable. There's also a back ridge which feels nice, but was not enough means to get me to that blissful end. I ended up getting frustrated and reaching for my familiar yet effective standby.

Too bad! I was excited and gave it a good go, but maybe there's just something strange with my vagina or manner of wielding a dildo. Surely it's different for others, but for me the G-Swirl was anticlimactic.

· Buy the G-Swirl (goodvibes.com)