Marital Aid Test Kitchen: Abstract Vibrator

I had high hopes for Abstract, a double-stimulation dildo from Cal Exotics's Couture Line. A thick, ridged white silicone dildo with a wide range of vibrations and a rotating tip, Abstract failed to deliver on many of those hopes.

First of all, Abstract has a somewhat complicated functionality, with three buttons: one for power, one for vibration programming, and one for tip rotation speed. This was already slightly overwhelming even before I put it in. After turning it on, I kept accidentally turning it off or changing the vibration/rotation without meaning to. I don't mind having to stare down there while nice things are happening, but I also want the option to not do that.

The rotating tip was what I was most excited about, and it was disappointing. As in, I couldn't really feel it at all. It could just be me, but I didn't think the rotation, even on its highest setting, made any difference; it didn't relieve me of having to do manual manipulation, and it didn't feel any less good when I turned the rotation off entirely. Beyond adding another confusing button, I think the rotating tip was a waste of time and energy on my part.

Finally, this may be a personal issue, but it's one I feel strongly about. I like dual-stimulation vibes, don't get me wrong, but the clit-teasing part of this toy was oddly pointy. I actually found myself keeping it off my clit and around the area instead because the tip was sort of painfully pressing into my sensitive bits. Usually I prefer underwear-on clit rubbing, but I don't mind it off; however, in this case I couldn't even tolerate skin-to-vibe contact.

Abstract looks impressive and exciting, but I found it very unsatisfactory. With all the vibrators on the market, I don't see why Cal Exotics couldn't have made this a little more functionally and sensationally appealing.

· Abstract (calexotics.com)