The Sex Is Quick, But The Awkwardness Is Forever: “An Eternal Love 2”

June 13, 2010
OTTIMO-MASSIMO

Break out the white wine and scented candles, because it's time for another tale of jealousy, love, infidelity, and other emotions you rarely get in fuck flicks.

An Eternal Love 2: Reckless Heart

Studio: New Sensations Romance
Director: Lee Roy Myers
Cast: Lexi Belle, Faye Reagan, India Summer, Johnny Castle, Mikey Butders, Bill Bailey, Tori Black

In the last installment of "An Eternal Love", Johnny Castle finally confessed his love to Lexi Belle, and the two of them had a steamy, celebratory quickie in Tori Black's guestroom. It was a nice sideplot, and it provided a simple way to have another fuck scene amidst all the drama of Tori Black's ghostly visions. Unfortunately, Lexi and Johnny have trouble carrying a whole movie on their own dramatic backs.

Luckily, their sexual backs are fully capable of carrying "An Eternal Love 2: Love Harder", and they get quite a workout in the process. They fuck with the comfort and familiarity of old lovers, and their shtupping styles are complementary, even on a basic pornstar level. Lexi is, as always, a great big smile as she begins to give a great big blowjob, but she and Johnny put on the same serious pout as Johnny holds her tight throughout his special brand of deep stroking.

But all is not well in the land of Castle-Belle; Lexi suspects Johnny has been unfaithful (he hasn't been), and Johnny is taking Lexi on a camping trip (she hates the outdoors). Once they get to the campground they flirt with the locals, have a huge fight, and stomp off in opposite directions to have paranoid fantasies about each other. After a great deal of brooding, they return to the tent, Johnny proposes to Lexi, and they head back to civilization. It's the classic "Hero With A Thousand Faces" story of exile, trial, and initiation with a pornographic twist.

While they're frolicking around the woods, Lexi encounters a wild Faye Reagan mounting a Mikey Butders. The muted, gray light pouring through the trees beautifully highlights Faye's puffy pink nipples, and even gives the illusion of extra girth to Mikey's red wood. Together, and with nothing more than a blanket on the ground, they look like two forest nymphs going about their daily Dionysian doggie-style lives, as casual as can be.

Lexi, during the height of her paranoia, imagines her boy cozying up with the campground's mistress, India Summer. Like a true cowgirl, India fucks with her boots on, bending over the picnic bench and giving Johnny more than a meal. We're always happy to see India Summer, we'll pretty much watch anything with her in it. In a parallel fantasy, Johnny imagines Lexi fucking the farmhand Bill Bailey. Lexi may not be the outdoorsy type, but Bill is happy to show her some basics. The first rule of camping? Leaves of three: fuck under that tree.

Truth be told, "An Eternal Love 2" is kind of boring. We love the cast, but not the acting or the dialogue. And since there are only four fuck scenes in the movie, it feels like you have to wade through a lot of awkward, syrupy kissy-talk (and even flashbacks of the syrupy kissy-talk) to get to any action. Johnny and Lexi were cute when their relationship was in the puppy love phase, but they don't operate as well with in a jealous, romance novel tone. (Also, we can't excuse having Tori Black in a movie in which she doesn't get naked.)

"An Eternal Love 2: Eternal Boogaloo" is a fine flick to grab if you feel like snacking on various sex scenes, but the whole movie is a lot to stomach in one sitting. No matter how much you love the New Sensations Romance line (and I love it a damn lot), this makes a better erotic Hallmark card than a heartfelt porno.

· New Sensations (newsensations.com)
· Buy "An Eternal Love 2: Reckless Heart" (gamelink.com)