In the Battle of “Buttwoman Vs. Slutwoman,” America Wins

July 15, 2010
LANK

As a callow youth, I once believed that to be the Slutwoman was to have transcended the five interesting parts of the female anatomy, and that to merely be Jugswoman, Buttwoman, or Vagwoman was to be a Lady in-Waiting.

I also felt that the Olympic Decathlon winner should be able to outswim anyone, as well as play basketball.

But such are the limitations of language. What I should have recognized was that persons such as Alexis "Buttwoman" Texas and Kristina "Slutwoman" Rose couldn't be labeled in such a convenient way.

After all, Alexis Texas is a tremendous slut and Kristina Rose has an ass one would like to park one's rig in and not invite JT LeRoy.

"It's confusing, I know," said Alexis Texas recently. "But(t) I became Buttwoman, I think, because that's the first thing people notice about me."

"Only from behind," I said.

Anyway, this collection of scenes does nothing to clear up the confusion, but it really doesn't matter. The important thing is that, amidst all the baby oil and R. Crumb-esque splurping sounds, you were made to think.

· Elegant Angel (elegantangel.com)
· Buy "Buttwoman vs. Slutwoman" (gamelink.com)

Elegant Angel (elegantangel.com)
Buy "Buttwoman vs. Slutwoman" (gamelink.com)