There Can Only Be One: “Alexis Meets Alexis”

No, it's not a coming-of-age story, or an interdimensional journey through the fabric of space-time, or a poorly postured "Kramer vs. Kramer" parody. It's the tale of how Alexis Texas turns Alexis Ford into a freak.

Alexis Meets Alexis

Studio: Adam & Eve
Director: Andre Madness
Cast: Alexis Texas, Alexis Ford, Samantha Ryan, Chayse Evans, Amy Brooke, Mr. Pete, Rocco Reed, Tony De Sergio, Chris Johnson

Before watching "Alexis Meets Alexis," I was worried that Andre Madness was going for a buddy flick-style porn in which Ford and Texas are equals, and that this would result in Texas eclipsing Ford with her massive, jiggling ass talent. Fortunately, that isn't how this movie goes down.

When they first encounter each other, the Alexises slowly sniff each other out, turning fingertip teases into full-palmed gropes. At times, Ford seems distant from the flesh, vacantly running her plump lips over anything at face-level, moaning more for a shoe caress than a clit lick. Still, Ford gives Texas everything she can, and the two of them calmly take turns with a series of sex toys. Maybe the lesbian scene is boring, but it's rich with symbolism. It represents the moment when one Alexis says to another, "Hey, you're a curvy, blonde vixen! I'm a curvy, blonde vixen! What a world this is."

The center of "Alexis Meets Alexis" is a creamy nougat spread of sex: Samantha Ryan and Chris Johnson, Amy Brooke and Rocco Reed, and Chayse Evans and Tony De Sergio. There isn't anything noticeably spectacular about these scenes, but each one has a charming (though often fleeting) moment of glory.

Samantha and Chris fuck like they're the last people alive, and as Chris plows into her from behind, he yanks her arm back and buries her face in the pillows. Despite all the rough theatrics, they rub each other for a long, quiet time after they've both come. Amy and Rocco also enjoy a post-coital rub down, but not before Rocco spends twenty minutes with his middle finger firmly in Amy's ass.

Chayse Evans sucks cock with a waving motion that travels up her torso and into her neck. One minute she's cleaning the kitchen floor on her hands and knees, and the next moment she's sitting on the counter and speaking in tongues as Tony De Sergio thrusts into her. He lies down on the freshly scrubbed linoleum, waiting to be mounted, but Chayse slowly licks him up his legs, his thighs, and across his balls until he bucks with anticipation. Most of "Alexis Meets Alexis" is a silent, solemn affair, but these two make enough noise for the whole film.

Finally, Texas plays mentor/dominatrix to Ford as the two of them pleasure Mr. Pete on his bed. They start off by smearing their lips on either side of his cock, but soon Alexis the Elder grabs the Younger by her braids and pushes her head down Pete's shaft, harder and further with each bob. "I wanna show you how a real freak fucks," Texas says. As soon as Texas fits Mr. Pete's shaft inside her, the student begins rimming the master and inhaling the boytoy's balls. Throughout this whole scene, Alexis Ford is only allowed rub assholes, tease taints, and get her throat opened as Texas impales the young star on Pete's wet, glistening cock.

This is exactly what Alexis Ford—not to mention the viewers—needed! Texas calls all the shots, keeps her amazing ass in the foreground, and has a little helper around to tickle the sensitive bits and lick up the dropped loads.

It's not like this is the best porn we've ever seen, or even the hottest threesome. In fact, "Alexis Meets Alexis" has painfully predictable sex and some of the worst music we've ever heard. Still, we've never enjoyed Alexis Ford this much before, and we're genuinely curious about what she'll do next.

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