Kagney Linn Karter Carries Housing Bubble Spoof “Deal Closers”

Some might say that a porn series based on the the California real estate crash involving starlets sucking and fucking to close jumbo loans is too cerebral to fly, especially in this economy. Quasarman respectfully disagrees.

Welcome to "Deal Closers," a high concept vignette series that isn't above stooping to cheap theatrics to close the deal by all means necessary. Quasarman and Zero Tolerance make the most of the madness in five sexy vignette scenes that spoof our trying times. Sort of. Well, not really.

Kagney Linn Karter is so hot, she could sell another round of TARP bailouts to a packed Congress during midterm elections. You don't have to be Nancy Pelosi to see that. Along with her "semen siphoning sales team," she could give Oren Hatch a hard on. And if it means closing a deal, they will—and then throw in some extra funds to have him lobby selling rotten meat to schoolkids.

Isis Taylor kicks off the fun with Anthony Rosano, failing miserably at their attempts to act, but succeeding at making sweet porno magic. This sexy curvy mama gets him heated faster than you can say subprime melt down, riding him in several positions before taking a hot blast of money to the face. Gordon Gecko said it best when he squealed that greed is good. Now we're living with the results. At least Isis can rinse her face off when she's done getting nailed.

Next up, dizzy cooze Gracie Glam does her best to sell a house to Marco Banderas, who only has oranges and a monster cock for collateral. She takes a worse pounding than a Goldman Saks CEO as he delivers more than jingle mail up her juicy pink twat. Thanks to shadow banking, self reporting income, and a brick shaped cock Marco manages to clear escrow and Gracie eats the closing costs and a creamy load.

Jayden James gets her bubble popped harder than the real estate market by sneaky James Deen. Faster than Alan Greenspan can say, "Ayn Rand made me do it," Deen dives face first into her snatch and eats more pink taco than Michael Steele eats crow. Once she's primed for a hard fucking, like the American taxpayer after the State of the Union address, he ends up plowing his John Boener so far up her Bobby Jindal that she moans and cries like Glenn Beck listening to Sarah Palin singing a "Star Spangled Bad Ass" duet with Kid Rock and Larry the Cable Guy.

Angelina Armani tricks Rocco Reed into going under market value, converting that short sale into a long slow fuck session where everyone wins. She goes down on his street meat faster than a stock market plunge on a FOX news terror alert then rides it up and down like the stock exchange during Bush's last term. Her golden parachute comes in the form of several severe body shaking orgasms and a milky load of jizz. She's smart to keep her assets liquid and her portfolio diversified in our opinion.

Kagney Linn Karter takes on sleazy mortgage broker Michael Pacino in the hopes that she can get her clients affordable housing. How can he deny her? Barney Frank couldn't turn her down once she gets going. Mikey gets all up in her sweet snatch, pounding away at her Fannie Mae until she's good and Countrywide and, well, you get the picture. He blasts the biggest load we've seen since Ben Bernanke learned that he was getting $700 billion with no financial oversight to hand out to his golfing buddies in the bank industry.

"Deal Closers" is available now from director Mike Quasar and Zero Tolerance. You don't have to be John Galt or Ron Paul to get it. All you have to do is kick back and let the sex do all the talking. We've all been getting fucked now for so long by the system and the government that it's nice to watch someone else get the shaft for a while. Check our our gallery...unless you hate America, that is.

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Kagney Linn Karter and Michael Pacino
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Kagney Linn Karter and Michael Pacino
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Kagney Linn Karter and Michael Pacino
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Kagney Linn Karter and Michael Pacino
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Kagney Linn Karter and Michael Pacino
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Kagney Linn Karter and Michael Pacino
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Isis Taylor and Anthony Rosano
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Isis Taylor and Anthony Rosano
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Isis Taylor and Anthony Rosano
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Isis Taylor and Anthony Rosano
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Isis Taylor and Anthony Rosano
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Gracie Glam and Marco Banderas
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Gracie Glam and Marco Banderas
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Gracie Glam and Marco Banderas
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Gracie Glam and Marco Banderas
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Angelina Armani and Rocco Reed
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Angelina Armani and Rocco Reed
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Angelina Armani and Rocco Reed
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Angelina Armani and Rocco Reed
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Angelina Armani and Rocco Reed
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Jayden James and James Deen
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Jayden James and James Deen
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Jayden James and James Deen
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Jayden James and James Deen
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Jayden James and James Deen
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