The Red Light District Of Google Instant: What You Can’t Instasearch For

Earlier today, Google announced the launch of Google Instant, a new tweak that allows you to see your search results without clicking that pesky search button. We were super excited...until we noticed that none of our searches were working.

See, Google Instant won't instasearch everything: even if you have safe search off, any XXX searches will require you to hit the enter button to actually see your results. And sometimes, the search doesn't even have to be all that "adult" to be blocked. Observe.

We began our search with some obvious terms. Porn is blocked, of course, as are boobs and topless (even topless car requires an extra click of a button).

Boob jobs also happens to be blocked.

Though, curiously, breast implants has been deemed safe.

For those wondering if Google is up on its fetishes: yes, it knows what bukkake is.

And don't even try pretending like felching is innocent.

Anal sex aficionados will be surprised to see Google's initial response to their query...

...but don't worry: once Google figures out what you're actually after, you're safely blocked from seeing it instantly.

"Entourage" fans looking for information on their favorite show's latest star will find themselves stymied (as will porn fans searching for any of their favorite stars by name).

Even the adult industry's more minor figures get denied an instasearch (which, in a way, is flattering).

And for those who think that Paris Hilton has redeeming qualities beyond that grainy night vision tape—well, Google respectfully disagrees with you.

Kim Kardashian, on the other hand, is revealed to be a fine, upstanding citizen.

Well, at least until you try to search for the tape that made her famous.

Interestingly, some sexy celebs are spared Google's censorship. Montana Fishburne, for instance, is arguably only famous because of her foray into adult entertainment—but Google is more than happy to show you information about her.

Even if you specifically search for "montana fishburne sextape"—a search which Google happily recommends!

At this point, weary porn fans are likely wondering what—aside from Montana Fishburne—they can search for instantly. Well, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Sexploitation films are deemed a-okay!

Just, uh, don't call them by their real name.