“Bubble Butt Babysitters” Make Dads Break The Bank

September 24, 2010
OTTIMO-MASSIMO

On one hand, we think it's wrong to hire babysitters based on appearance. On the other hand, half the job is sitting. Of course you need a bubble butt to do it right.

Bubble Butt Babysitters

Studio: Tom Byron Pictures
Director: Tom Byron
Cast: Alexis Texas, Jennifer White, Alexis Breeze, Kelly Divine, Katy Karson, Jack Lawrence, Jordan Ash, Christian XXX, Tom Byron

How can you talk about butts without mentioning Alexis Texas? You simply can't. When Alexis needs some extra cash from Jack Lawrence, he asks her to clean around the office. Of course, she can't get her cutoff jeans dirty, so Alexis changes into a French maid outfit. After she's done cleaning, Mr. Lawrence wants a massage.

Let's recap so far: babysitter, Alexis Texas, cutoffs, office setting, maid outfit, massage. We were tempted not to watch any more of the film. Sure, it'd be nice to watch Alexis get naked again and have sex, but why spoil the good semi-clean fun? Well, because when Alexis sucks cock, she puts her whole back into it, pumping her legs forward and propelling her throat around his shaft. That seems like a decent reason. Are the other babysitters worth watching? Let's find out.

Tom Byron might be a married man (in some universe), but that won't stop him from slathering Kelly Divine's bikini body with sun tan lotion. Before you know it, he's back to his old games, dipping his tongue in and out of her ass. Kelly has trouble taking all of Tom's cock in her mouth, but she tries until her face gets covered in spit. A+ for effort, Ms. Divine!

Alexis Breeze comes without introduction or explanation; heck, we don't even know if she's a babysitter. But she has the bubble butt credentials, and Jordan Ash seems to like her, so she's fine by us. He lays her belly on the granite kitchen counter and fucks her mouth, holding her hair behind her head. They share a fairly stoic fuck, but they use the kitchen creatively, really exploring the space with Alexis' rippling ass. Her drama teacher would be proud.

Just when we were having a good time, something horrible shows up! Katy Karson put a child's car seat in the front seat of her car! If we weren't so addicted to watching Katy cream all over Christian's cock, we'd have half a mind to write an angry letter to Tom Byron Pictures for presenting a bad example to babysitters everywhere. Truth be told, her butt is the least bubbly of the bunch, but what it lacks in bulbousness it makes up for with bounce.

When she's not babysitting, Jennifer White spends her time doing cartwheels, handsprings, and back bends wearing booty shorts in the park. If she's not too busy, she might let Tom Byron pick her up and creepily compliment her ass, pry into her sex life, feel her up in his rumpus room. Jennifer is, to us, one of the hottest women in porn right now. The minute Tom first drags his tongue across her perineum and into her hole, the look on Jennifer's face shifts from fear to furious lust. Her lips curl, a smile spreads, and just like that, you know that Tom has her.

All asses considered, no one can compete with Alexis Texas. As fun as it is to watch Tom go through his pervy old man routine, he can't carry the scenes by himself. Alexis is more than a radical rump, she also has full control of her hips and thighs, and she can hit a perfect sequence of hypnotic booty quaking moves. Maybe she has an unfair advantage, but anything goes in the cutthroat world of babysitting.

· Evolution Distribution (evolutiondist.com)
· Buy "Bubble Butt Babysitters" (store.fleshbot.com)