“Not Charlie’s Angels” Makes Us Realize The Original Wasn’t So Great, Either

You'd think that a parody of a TV show about a bunch of hot babes who never got naked would be great since the hot babes would be getting naked. But I'll tell you this, Fleshbot Readers:Naked Isn't Enough.

Not Charlie's Angels XXX

Studio: X-Play/New Sensations
Director: Will Ryder
Starring: Lexi Swallow, Sunny Leone, Andy San Dimas, Dirty Harry, Marcus London, Heather Starlet, James Bartholet, Breane Benson, Madison Ivy, Cassandra Cruz, Vicky Chase, Eric Swiss, Seth Gamble, Eric John

Since the 70's TV series "Charlie's Angels" was rebooted as a movie franchise a few years ago by the likes of Drew Barrymore and Cameron Diaz, it makes sense that the porn parody would have more to play with as a takeoff on the coke and disco-fueled big hair decade. This is the route X-Play chose in its first production outing with New Sensations.

The series, about a harem of sexy private detectives starring (at one point) Me Decade babes Farrah Fawcett and Jacklyn Smith, was more a hit in pubescent bedroom poster form than it ever was in ratings, so it behooves a parody to get the cast naked as fast as possible before viewers start to worry about the plot.

With admirable costuming and set decoration by hairdresser-turned porn mogul Scott David, "Not Charlie's Angels" looks very much like the 70's show, still viewable today on stylae and other ancient media. And the wooden acting and plot that serves only to get the likes of Andy San Dimas and Sunny Leone undressed follows the same rules as the Aaron Spelling original.

Having recently watched a couple of the TV shows, I was struck by how really, really boring they were as if, like with a porn movie, producers knew the real need was neither plot nor acting but to create a reason for the female cast to get in bikinis.

So it is with the porn parody. While San Dimas and Leone struggle mightily to nail the flimsy characters entrusted to them (Leone flips her hair admirably, San Dimas, as comparatively straitlaced Sabrina, registers shock when penetrated), and while it is always great to see the porn icon Dirty Harry, and while casting a man named Porno Dan as a sleazeball was a heroic bit of affirmative action, "Not Charlie's Angels" adds nothing to the original and, sad to say, Lexi Swallow doesn't know Farrah Fawcett from a hole in the ground.

As an example of the despair the porn industry feels in getting product out there, "Not Charlie's Angels" didn't need to be made-there was just a compulsion to do it. It is fitting that this movie opened with a scene of disco-era club dudes cutting lines of cocaine.

· See the trailer (sitcums.com)
· New Sensations (newsensations.com)
· Buy "Not Charlie's Angels XXX" (gamelink.com)