Will “The Flintstones: A XXX Parody” Make Your Bedrock?

In this episode of "Why Would You Do This To My Childhood?" we look at some pictures from the prehistoric porn that New Sensations and Will Ryder made out of "The Flintstones."

When we first glanced through the promo gallery, we thought this parody looked pretty damn good, and we were ready to meet (er, beat our meat to) the Flintstones in a whole new light. Check it out for yourself: the costumes are flawless recreations of the cartoon attire, the sets feel adequately empty, and it looks like Fred takes a firm bump on the noggin. All we need is a sassy dino-lampshade to break the fourth wall and say, "It's a living!" and we'll be totally satisfied.

But what's this? Fred Flintstone doesn't get to fuck? That's right, Peter O'Tool makes a damn fine Fred, but he doesn't get any action with Wilma, Betty, or anyone! We tire of protagonists who don't drop trou in their parodies: Cosby didn't do it, the Brady parents didn't do it, and John Madden didn't do it (though we were grateful for that last one). Correct us if we're wrong, but it seems like Will Ryder is guilty of this offense more often than his contemporaries are.

It's not that Will Ryder doesn't try. In fact, the press release about "The Flintstones: A XXX Parody" boasts serious tech work and dedication to the look and feel of the retro cartoon. It reads, "The most ambitious of the sets was the exterior of the Flintstones' house, constructed out of 1200 pounds of plaster, 400 pounds of wood, 60 pounds of metal and 50 pounds of paint." They even made a working replica of Fred's car!

We worry that the loads of paint and plaster are trying to cover up some poor quality sex, but so far, everything looks grand. Wilma (Hillary Scott) and Betty (Brooke Lee Adams) express their feelings for each other with a long-overdue licking session on a leopard pelt. Bam Bam (Seth Gamble) is all grown up, but he never got over his crush on the girl next door, Pebbles (newcomer Haley Winter). Even mean old Mr. Slate (Rod Fontana) gets in on the action!

"The Flintstones: A XXX Parody" came out on October 28th, so we ought to be reviewing it (for real) mighty soon. Maybe it's just the horny nostalgia talking, but we have a pretty good feeling about it.

[UPDATE: Correction! The Brady parents have in fact have sex on numerous occasions in the "Not The Bradys XXX" series. My apologies for the massive mistake. Thanks to the commenters who caught that (including Will Ryder himself)!]

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