Aletta Ocean Makes Us Not Care About Learning To Read

"Get out your thickest pencil and play a game of connect the sluts!" commands the boxcover of "The Connection," starring Aletta Ocean. I can't claim to know the porn-downloading public, but I'm sure they'd rather use their dicks.

While it is difficult to understand the plot or dialogue of this movie, featuring Mick Blue as a man on a mission, we do understand Aletta Ocean, the Hungarian who looks like the love child Cameron Diaz and Lisa Ann should make.

Oh, and Angelina Jolie.

Ocean, who just turned 23, seems to combine centuries of dispassionate former Eastern Bloc sexual confidence in her lush and squeezable frame.

So, while we don't really connect with the cast on a spiritual or linguistic level, Thank God that's not the point.

Ocean has us at "Chello."

· Zero Tolerance (zerotoleranceentertainment.com)
· Buy "The Connection" (gamelink.com)