Marital Aid Test Kitchen: Babeland’s Edible Body Chocolate

Sometimes very good things come in small packages. Despite my skepticism about a chocolate not specifically made with dessert in mind, this tastes pretty darn good and is even sweeter in other ways.

Now, to be fair, this is no Jacques Torres truffle. I would say the taste and texture of this body chocolate is akin to a viscous chocolate syrup paste. It's pretty smooth, and despite having some saccharine notes this stuff is not bad at all. It's also impressively all-natural/organic, fair trade and vegan.

But on to the best part: it's thick enough that when spread upon parts of yourself and your lover, it stays put, and quite well—no drips and no mess, except where you want it. We naturally gravitated towards adorning the nipples and penis (you'll want to refrain from putting this too close to the vaginal opening, but the outer parts of the vulva are fair game). The consistency of the product allows you to paint streaks or sculpt large dollops where you please, which is titillating in and of itself.

But to the very best part of the whole endeavor: the removal of said chocolate. Because it is so thick, in order to really get every last bit off the body (and I'm sure no one thinks remnant bits of drying chocolate anywhere are sexy) it requires you to lick and suck quite forcefully—much more forcefully, as I found, than I had done under normal circumstances. And this is the real boon for this product: licking and sucking that forcefully on sensitive bits feels really, REALLY good (especially on the underside of the dick head, which I found out the easy way). This quickly paved the way for an extra exciting romp around the bedroom that night... It's basically foreplay in a jar. And tasty, too!

This is one product that I wholeheartedly recommend. It would make a perfect stocking stuffer, and will definitely help you get, ahem, stuffed on Christmas.

· Buy Babeland Edible Body Chocolate (babeland.com)