Every winter, our inboxes are flooded with links to Christmas-themed porn: naked babes in Santa hats and...well, it's mostly just naked babes in Santa hats. With the exception of Halloween, there's no other holiday that generates this much themed smut.
But what, exactly, is the appeal? Halloween porn, strange though it may seem, at least makes sense. At its core, Halloween is a holiday about dressing up and exploring fantasies, two activities that factor heavily into many a good session of sex play (and let's not forget that it gives us the opportunity to enjoy all sorts of supernatural creatures—vampires, zombies, and the like—getting their freak on). But Christmas? Well, it's about giving gifts, and baby Jesus, and...Santa hats?
This is not to say that it's impossible to make good Christmas porn. Like any theme, Christmas porn is as good as the effort that's put into it, and there are quite a few aspects of the Christmas season that are quite ripe for pornification. Kissing under the mistletoe? Santa punishing the naughty (and maybe rewarding the nice)? Gifting the gift of hot, hot sex? Mary and Joseph consummating their marriage in the manger? (Okay, maybe not that one.)
Yet somehow, something always seems to get lost in the rush to get out smut in time for Christmas Eve, and we're left with...well, naked babes in Santa hats.
So we're not saying that we don't want more Christmas porn. But we would like to see a little more effort put into the whole shebang. Maybe a bit more along the lines of A Very Kleio Christmas, and less along the lines of naked babes in Santa hats.
Because, let's face it: quality XXX action with a good plot and a thoughtfully integrated holiday feel? That might just be the best Christmas present ever.
· Thumbnail star: Aletta Ocean (twistys.com)