“American Bride” Shows How The British View Us Horny Colonists

If this movie is anything to go by, American brides go around all alone, screwing some of the most talented male pornstars, and occasionally hooking up with Cindy Behr. That sounds about right. We do love independence and equality.

Paige Ashley, God bless her heart, is the titular character, and she's in every single scene. She never takes a break! That Protestant work ethic must've really done a number on her Puritan sexual hangups, because she takes so much dick, one after the other, that it's like watching a slow motion gang bang.

However, the first scene of the film is a lovely little tryst with Cindy Behr. In their finest thigh highs, the ladies lick each other head to toe and warm up their pussies with a shiny, buzzing, happy vibrator. Perhaps Cindy goes off and has sex with six different American men, too. We can only hope.

Paige then goes from boy to boy, changing bros like she changes clothes (which she does quite a lot), embodying various archetypes of the sexually liberated American female. For her scene with Jerry, she jerks him off into her mouth while wearing long, zebra print gloves and a strange assortment of sequined party wear perhaps stolen from Hot Topic. This must be the post-club party girl! You can tell by the way she impales her tight ass on Jerry's cock and slides down without batting an eye.

When she's hanging out with Sascha, Paige puts on pink, striped stockings and pigtails, representing the coquettish, age play-loving American girl who knows how to appeal to man's darker places. Oh, Britain, what do you think of us? And why are you right? Watching her bouncy locks bob over Sascha's stiff dick is simply too familiar and lovely of a sight to deny.

We're not sure why, but Ms. Ashley visits Dane Cross twice in this movie. Maybe she falls in love with him after banging all those other men? We should've mentioned that the cover for "American Bride" alludes to a dating service somewhat like Ashley Madison. Oh! So that's where Bluebird gets their idea of American romance! That explains everything.

Whether you're appalled by this vision of American life, or you just want to see Paige Ashley get fucked over and over again (and why wouldn't you?), "American Bride" is great fodder for both fapping and foreign policy. It's in stores now!

· Bluebird Films (bluebirdfilms.com)
· Buy "American Bride" (adultdvdempire.com)

Paige Ashley
Bluebird Films (bluebirdfilms.com)
Buy "American Bride" (adultdvdempire.com)
Paige Ashley
Bluebird Films (bluebirdfilms.com)
Buy "American Bride" (adultdvdempire.com)
Paige Ashley
Bluebird Films (bluebirdfilms.com)
Buy "American Bride" (adultdvdempire.com)
Paige Ashley
Bluebird Films (bluebirdfilms.com)
Buy "American Bride" (adultdvdempire.com)
Paige Ashley
Bluebird Films (bluebirdfilms.com)
Buy "American Bride" (adultdvdempire.com)
Paige Ashley
Bluebird Films (bluebirdfilms.com)
Buy "American Bride" (adultdvdempire.com)
Paige Ashley
Bluebird Films (bluebirdfilms.com)
Buy "American Bride" (adultdvdempire.com)
Paige Ashley
Bluebird Films (bluebirdfilms.com)
Buy "American Bride" (adultdvdempire.com)
Paige Ashley
Bluebird Films (bluebirdfilms.com)
Buy "American Bride" (adultdvdempire.com)
Paige Ashley
Bluebird Films (bluebirdfilms.com)
Buy "American Bride" (adultdvdempire.com)
Paige Ashley
Bluebird Films (bluebirdfilms.com)
Buy "American Bride" (adultdvdempire.com)
Paige Ashley
Bluebird Films (bluebirdfilms.com)
Buy "American Bride" (adultdvdempire.com)
Paige Ashley
Bluebird Films (bluebirdfilms.com)
Buy "American Bride" (adultdvdempire.com)
Paige Ashley
Bluebird Films (bluebirdfilms.com)
Buy "American Bride" (adultdvdempire.com)
Paige Ashley
Bluebird Films (bluebirdfilms.com)
Buy "American Bride" (adultdvdempire.com)
Paige Ashley
Bluebird Films (bluebirdfilms.com)
Buy "American Bride" (adultdvdempire.com)
Paige Ashley
Bluebird Films (bluebirdfilms.com)
Buy "American Bride" (adultdvdempire.com)
Paige Ashley
Bluebird Films (bluebirdfilms.com)
Buy "American Bride" (adultdvdempire.com)
Paige Ashley
Bluebird Films (bluebirdfilms.com)
Buy "American Bride" (adultdvdempire.com)
Paige Ashley
Bluebird Films (bluebirdfilms.com)
Buy "American Bride" (adultdvdempire.com)
Paige Ashley
Bluebird Films (bluebirdfilms.com)
Buy "American Bride" (adultdvdempire.com)
Paige Ashley
Bluebird Films (bluebirdfilms.com)
Buy "American Bride" (adultdvdempire.com)
Paige Ashley
Bluebird Films (bluebirdfilms.com)
Buy "American Bride" (adultdvdempire.com)
Paige Ashley
Bluebird Films (bluebirdfilms.com)
Buy "American Bride" (adultdvdempire.com)
Paige Ashley
Bluebird Films (bluebirdfilms.com)
Buy "American Bride" (adultdvdempire.com)
Paige Ashley
Bluebird Films (bluebirdfilms.com)
Buy "American Bride" (adultdvdempire.com)
Paige Ashley
Bluebird Films (bluebirdfilms.com)
Buy "American Bride" (adultdvdempire.com)
Paige Ashley
Bluebird Films (bluebirdfilms.com)
Buy "American Bride" (adultdvdempire.com)