Tanya James And The New Economy

Charming and Titan-breasted Tanya James exists in a different world than I do. When confronted with a too-high car repair bill, she fucks her mechanic (Tommy Gunn) in lieu of payment. This has never worked for me.

Last week I busted my phone and lost my wallet whilst on a bike ride in sunny Los Angeles. When I offered to fuck the Apple rep for a new phone, I was politely declined. Ditto the lady at the DMV to whom I had to fork over cash for a replacement license.

"Why don't things work for me like they do for Tanya James?" I said. "We both have a lot of the same letters in our names, know many of the same people ... why can't I barter sexual services the way she does?"

It might have something to do with the fact that I am neither charming nor Titan-breasted.

Adding insult to injury was the fact that James simply does not follow directions.

"Slap my dick with your titties," commands Tommy Gunn, but James clearly slaps her titties with his dick.

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