In A Kage with “Katwoman”

One of the most satisfying things about Dylan Ryder's "Katwoman" suit is how angry and insistent her boobs seem when finally sprung from their rigid, shiny enclosure. Well, two of the most satisfying things.

Readers, I can't tell you how this movie is going to be from the five hours I spent on Bluebird's massive "Katwoman" set the other day, because I was lulled by the sound of Ryder walking around the studio in her well-lubricated industrial catsuit.

Bluebird owner Paul Chaplin was pulling double duty as The Jo-kerr, and British vixen Gemma Massey played the Jo-kerrette in a costume inspired, Makeup Lady Melissa said, by Helena Bonham Carter in "Sweeney Todd."

Director Nicholas Steele filmed a scene in which Ryder attempts to interrogate the loony Jo-kerrette but instead makes a deal with the Jo-kerr (I was not able to find out why Bluebird was especially litigation-averse in their choice of awkward parody names, when other studios seem to be veering away from that with simple disclaimers).

Chaplin played his character like a Jack Nicolson-vintage Joker, and Massey channeled every crazy HBC character from Ophelia to Bellatrix LeStrange to Tim Burton's version of Angela Lansbury.

But will Ryder have to take off that whole getup for her inevitable sex scenes?

"No," she says. "There's an easy access hole."

So if women in straitjackets or other restrictive clothing present a delightful challenge for you (especially if they're also in cages), look for "Katwoman" some time this summer.

· Bluebird Films (bluebirdfilms.com)