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Marital Aid Test Kitchen: Someone’s Cyberskin Vibrating Suction Base Pussy And Ass

EDITORIAL FEATURES

2008_5_29_matk2bb.jpgThere have been a few wall-mountable items in our adult novelty cabinet of late, but this one is particularly exciting because, despite Bree Olson's picture on the box, we're not sure if the Cyberskin Vibrating Suction Base Pussy And Ass is Bree Olson's Cyberskin Vibrating Suction Base Pussy And Ass. Without the knowledge of whose Cyberskin Vibrating Suction Base Pussy And Ass it's supposed to be, fucking this Cyberskin Vibrating Suction Base Pussy And Ass is like having sex with a stranger. Exciting! And creepy!

I remove the Cyberskin Vibrating Suction Base Pussy And Ass from its box. I make a note to highlight and copy "Cyberskin Vibrating Suction Base Pussy And Ass" for my review so I can just hit Apple+V rather than retyping Cyberskin Vibrating Suction Base Pussy And Ass all the time. Its jiggly Cyberskin feels comforting, like an old friend or younger sister of the legions of Cyberskin ladies I've had the pleasure to know.

2008_5_29_matk2.jpgI've got an HD-DVD player in a corner of the office. Well that's goddamn useless. I take the two AA batteries out of its remote control and stick them in the slider control device of the Cyberskin Vibrating Suction Base Pussy And Ass. A wire connects the control to a little bullet-shaped thing which the manufacturers call a "bullet." It is satisfying to shove the bullet into a hole at the top of the Cyberskin Vibrating Suction Base Pussy And Ass. Unplugged, that hole might be a distraction; inexperienced users of sex toys might mistakenly fuck it.

Different from the other Cyberskin Vibrating Pussies And Asses in our collection, this one has two suction cups at its base, ostensibly for traction. Me, I derive pleasure from taking and shoving the Cyberskin Vibrating Suction Base Pussy And Ass against my file cabinet, the way one would with an actual Lady. Also like an actual Lady, the Cyberskin Vibrating Suction Base Pussy And Ass immediately loses suction from one of its cups and dangles off the A-G drawer.

2008_5_29_matk3.jpgI finally get the Cyberskin Vibrating Suction Base Pussy And Ass secured. It is a small representation of those parts and if it weren't Caucazoid and if I didn't already have the image of Bree Olson in my head I would think it had been molded from a scrawnier Thai prostie.

I stick my finger in the hole and curve it around. No G-spot, no ridge. But I did feel the bullet like a calcified fetus. I imagine this is how a Cylon must feel in there. Hot. But I'm going to need some lube, and so is the Cyberskin Vibrating Suction Base Pussy And Ass.

I take a moment to wonder who the target audience for such a thing might be. I think it is people with active imaginations, capable of suppressing the knowledge that fucking the Cyberskin Vibrating Suction Base Pussy And Ass is actually more difficult and time consuming than using whatever household item or fingers that do the job usually.

Like the axiom that fucking one person means fucking every person that he or she has ever been with, fucking the Cyberskin Vibrating Suction Base Pussy And Ass means fucking whatever surface it is attached to, in my case, a filing cabinet. Would that David Cronenberg have walked in as he saw me and the five-foot tall Cyberskin Vibrating Suction Base Pussy And Assed file cabinet in a carnal embrace, I would now be collecting residuals in strong Canadian dollars.

· Adam & Eve (AdamEve.com)
· Topco (topcosales.us)
· Buy the Cyberskin Vibrating Suction Base Pussy And Ass (gamelink.com)


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