Izabel Goulart Has Salted Our Game

We were trying to kick it with this gorgeous model the other day, and we asked if she was down to grab a drink, but she said she was busy hanging out half-naked on piles of salt. So harsh.

It's like, we've been shut down by women out of our league before, but never has a lady chosen to cure herself like carpaccio on a salt brick rather than go on a date. Game officially salted. And then to have Vogue España publish these pictures and put them on the internet? What do you even call it? We'll say it's throwing a dash of pepper on our game, but we know that's not what the kids talk like these days.

· Izabel Goulart topless in Vogue España (prettyhotandsexy.com)