Marital Aid Test Kitchen: Joanna Angel From Both Sides Now

"It's molded from my tight asshole, so now you can fuck me where I like it," breathes Fleshbot Supreme Comandress Joanna Angel through the packaging of her Tight Cyberskin Ass Stroker. And what about her Tight Cyberskin Pussy Stroker? "It's molded from my own pussy, so fuck me hard like you know I like it." I don't know, Joanna; you seem to like it no matter what we do.

Since the technology was available, I contacted Joanna Angel directly about these products.

"Tell me about your engooping," I said. "Was it cold and impersonal?"

"No," Angel said. "It was at the Topco factory. We did it in a little room."

"How long ago?"

"About a year. Last spring."

"So one could have conceived and carried a new being to term in the time it took to create two fake parts of one."

"Yes."

I held the quivering jellylike anus and vagina in my hands, hoping the mailman wouldn't show up, and that the UPS lady would.

"Joanna, you are a big porn star. You have a lot of movies. And you know people jerk off to these movies, but there is always a chance that they don't, so you don't have to autograph a movie knowing that the first thing your fan does is go home and jerk off on the box. But with sex toys in your image (forbidden by the second commandment), you know that people are going to go home and emi9t love spendings on them."

"Yes," she said. "It makes me feel like I've arrived."

Angel said she has stuck her fingers in her Cyberskin representations before.

"They're pretty tight," she said. "I suggest lube."

"What should a consumer be listening to when he goes to town on your ass? Your pussy?"

"For the ass," she said, "Black Dahlia Murder."

"Because the ass reminds you of Michigan, where they're from?"

"No, because they're a metal band. And for the pussy, something electronic, like Brazilian Girls."

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· Topco Sales (topcosales.us